Hi!
     My name is Laura, and I am a CG for my wonderful husband, Les who
was diagnosed with Parkinsons in 1995.
      My personal experience with CD dates back to 1962 when I found myself
waking up in the morning and immediately after discovering that I was alive
and had another day to go through, would go to a corner of my room, and in
a fetal position, cry until I was exhausted.
      Going to a psychiatrist as I did voluntarily, was not discussed with most
friends, because of  the stigma attached to it in that day.  I found that just
"talking it out" with someone who would not judge me helped a great deal.
I was also on valium.  When I finally was through talking and "confessing"
every little thing I ever felt guilty and angry about, I told my doctor that
I was ready to "do something."   I was ready to get out in the world again
and learn, do, see, experience the good things of life.  Of course, he was
elated.  I then asked him, " What will I do if I become so depressed again?"
He asked me what I would do if I sought
medical help for a broken arm, and then later broke my arm again.  Would
I not get my arm repaired again?  Depression is no different.  You are always
welcome to come back any time you need help.  I have had various bouts with
depression most of my life.  But now I understand that I can deal with it in
different
ways depending upon to what extent I feel the pain.  And I understand that
sometimes
one needs to keep working at finding relief in whatever way works for you. ( Just

like each PD has to find their own way to find relief from this terrible
disease.) I can
not put myself in your shoes, only my own.  I cannot really feel the pain of a
PD, only
the pain of a CD, and to me that is sometimes bad enough.  I look in my husband's

eyes to try find ways to make him "all better."
     This network has helped a great deal in learning about PD.  Even though you
do not know me, I feel that I know you and you are ALL so wonderful. I am
making a notebook of all your information.  And keep up the "small talk."  I
really
believe this is a very important part of the healing process by bonding, loving
each
other and sharing your experiences, both positive and negative.
                                        May God Bless
                                                         Laura Rogers

> Hello, I mostly lurk, but felt inspired/compelled to respond to this recent
> discussion.  I am a psychotherapist, "retired", and social worker,
> "retired", meaning I am taking care of my Dad with PD and have suspended my
> life......I have found great power for people in the 12 step programs.
> Power to be more free, more independent, and happier.  I know many people of
> AA who do not follow the "party line" that this email describes, the one
> about the people being basically narrowminded.  It is impossible, to my
> thinking, to catagorize a group of folks in that way....impossible.  Like
> all PD's do this or have this, folks in 12 step programs are as individual
> as we all are...... Blessings to all. Deborah, caregiver to Eugene/79/10+
> ----------
> >From: "Hawkins, Darwin" <[log in to unmask]>
> >To: [log in to unmask]
> >Subject: AN "OUTSIDER'S" VIEW OF DEPRESSION
> >Date: Thu, May 11, 2000, 11:37 AM
> >
>
> >Friends,
> >I forwarded one of the e-mails (Chuck's) about CD to a close friend because
> >of a discussion we had the other day. He is a recovered (in my opinion not a
> >recovering) alcoholic (for 17 years now). What prompted the conversation was
> >at his daughter's wedding two weeks ago, he had to propose a toast using a
> >glass of Champaign at the wedding cake table. He did well. I noticed and
> >commented later that he only pretended to take a sip from the glass. I told
> >him I admired his commitment to never again take a drink.
> >We got to discussing how he overcome the addiction. He said his wife still
> >to this day is in denial that he either was never an alcoholic or he has not
> >completed the recovery because he did not go through the 12 step program.
> >Wine, beer, and spirits are still kept and served on occasion in their home.
> >
> >His response to the e-mail follows. I thought it appropriate to share with
> >all of you. BTW, he is the editor of one of my flying club's newsletter and
> >is also writing a Steven King type horror novel. Very articulate gentleman
> >and I am happy to count him as one of my very close friends.
> >Darwin
> >- - - - - - - - - - -
> >
> >
> >> This is an interesting piece.  Here is my take on the 12 Step idea that
> >> some
> >> people have.  I believe that they reject the idea of anyone handling their
> >> problems in a different manners than they did because it makes them feel
> >> inferior.  If they acknowledge that other people can achieve what they did
> >> without meetings, programs and support groups they view the other person
> >> as
> >> more capable and themselves less capable.  Thus they take the position
> >> that
> >> the other person didn't really have a problem because "there is no other
> >> way
> >> to fix this problem other than the one I used."
> >>
> >> Its sad that these people don't realize that it is always the individual
> >> who
> >> fixes their own problem.  Turning problems over to God is a way to allow
> >> themselves a little breathing room.  By telling themselves that they no
> >> longer have to worry about a problem it allows them to step back and get
> >> some perspective on it.  Most of our problems are not as bad as they seem
> >> to
> >> the individual.  By mentally dumping the worry, which debilitates the
> >> person, they can then take steps to fix the problem because they don't
> >> have
> >> to worry about failing.
> >>
> >> I have always thought that depression was brought on by peoples' negative
> >> thinking and self absorption.  There seems to always be a cause that
> >> triggers this in the person.  Perhaps there are some people who simply get
> >> depressed for no reason but I think the majority of people do this based
> >> upon a loss in their life.  A loss of a loved one, loss of a job, natural
> >> disaster that destroys a home, etc.  They spend too much time dwelling on
> >> what they no longer have instead of being grateful for what they did have
> >> for so long.  This limits the person's ability to see other
> >> possibilities...which makes them dwell on their loss....which limits their
> >> ability to see....until they spiral down to a position of total
> >> hopelessness.  Its true that brain chemistry affects our emotions and
> >> ability to handle problems.  Some of the anti-depressant drugs allow
> >> people
> >> to jump ahead by bringing their brain chemistry back close to normal.
> >> However, if they don't learn to be positive and handle life's problems
> >> without giving up they are just setting themselves up for another
> >> depressive
> >> state.  Too many people think the answer is just more pharmaceuticals.
> >> Like
> >> the 12 step people, they get the notion that it is not possible to fix a
> >> problem any other way.  If a person can do it they are viewed as not
> >> really
> >> having a problem.  Pretty sad.
> >>
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: Hawkins, Darwin
> >> To: XXXXXXXXXX
> >> Sent: 5/11/00 9:16 AM
> >> Subject: FW: depression
> >>
> >> I'm sending this to you (came in on my Parkinson's Information Exchange
> >> Network e-mail) in light of what we were discussing the other day about
> >> the
> >> 12 step program. Maybe we do have the capability of mind over matter!
> >>
> >> > ----------
> >> > From:       Charles E Murray[SMTP:[log in to unmask]]
> >> > Sent:       Wednesday, May 10, 2000 4:30 PM
> >> > Subject:    Re: depression
> >> >
> >> > I have watched a blister grow on the skin of a hypnotized subject
> >> touched
> >> > by a finger tip, but told it was a lighted cigarette.
> >> >
> >> >  I have watched a brother with terminal liver and colon cancer, given
> >> a
> >> > two month prognosis by oncologists at the U  of A (after surgery and
> >> > other medical efforts for two years failed to halt the spread),
> >> decline
> >> > chemo, adopt a macrobiotic food diet and the practice of meditation,
> >> then
> >> > be pronounced cancer free 13 months later.
> >> >
> >> > Twenty years ago medical science denied any connection between diet
> >> and
> >> > cancer.  Today this has changed, but scientists still resist the
> >> > possibility that diet can be curative.  Few physicians would deny
> >> that,
> >> > at times, medical science finds itself playing "catch up," with
> >> > disciplines not restricted by the "scientific method" of research.
> >> > Witness the slow acknowledgment of the efficacy of acupuncture as
> >> one
> >> > example.
> >> >
> >> > Studies have demonstrated that certain attitudes correlate with good
> >> and
> >> > bad prognoses in many illnesses.
> >> >
> >> > My dad, troubled most of his life by migraines, learned biofeedback and
> >> > today has absolute control of migraine cycles, stopping them at the
> >> outset
> >> > with mental imagery.
> >> >
> >> > Is it possible that, given the incredible power of our mind, we can
> >> > affect the physiology of our bodies, including the brain's chemical
> >> > balance, by the patterns of our thinking?
> >> >
> >> > Sinead and I believe diet and "positive" thinking patterns can be
> >> > therapeutic because that has been our experience.
> >> >
> >> > Some folks in 12 Step programs apply the rationale that if someone
> >> quit
> >> > drinking (using, etc.) without a 12 step program they must not have
> >> been
> >> > a real alcoholic (addict, etc.) in the first place.  With this simple
> >> > logic they dismiss all input and declare irrelevant all experience
> >> from
> >> > such people under the conclusion that such folks are "not one of us.":
> >> >
> >> > Are some of us using this same kind of logic to dismiss the experience
> >> of
> >> >  those who say diet and positive thinking were effective in their
> >> > depression, i.e, "They were not suffering from true CD."
> >> >
> >> > Wouldn't it be interesting if someday we determine that negative
> >> thinking
> >> > patterns change brain chemistry, and that, with rescue and
> >> transitional
> >> > help from anti depressant meds, diligent training in positive thought
> >> > patterns proves to be the best method of keeping brain chemistry
> >> healthy?
> >> >
> >> >
> >> > In the meantime, I'll keep taking my St. John's Wort and Requip for
> >> > whatever they have contributed to my coming "out of the darkness and
> >> into
> >> > the light."  (Title of the book- written by a psychiatrist -  that
> >> > boosted me down the path to peace of mind). And if I go back to a
> >> darker
> >> > place I will use all the resources I can find, medical and spiritual,
> >> to
> >> > come back out again.
> >> >
> >> > Chuck
> >> >
> >>