mary anne
that was so well expressed and supportive of a difficult situation
judy


>From: Mary Ann Ryan <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: Parkinson's Information Exchange Network
><[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: doubting Thomas
>Date: Wed, 12 Jul 2000 08:54:34 -0400
>
>But I notice changes which I also read about in forums like this
> > one, like vivid dreams, blurred vision, loss of smell, and so on. I have
>to
> > say, I'm acutely aware of becoming a hypochondriac (-you know, the best
>way
> > to make your family ill? > Alf
>
>
>Shucks, Alf, I'm 50....er....something and I haven't had any of your
>symptoms.  Has it occurred to you that your wife might be in denial??
>Denial makes it easier for her to deal with your diagnosis for now.
>Eventually, when your symptoms become more severe, you'll have to watch her
>go through the whole gamut of the mourning process.  You are not the only
>one to have PD - your entire family has to deal with the disease as well,
>and  - because the symptoms are insidious, will blame you for not 'getting
>your act together' and of being a hypochondriac.  I would like to suggest
>that the next time your wife accuses your age for your symptoms that you
>stop her cold by saying, "No.  I'm not that old.  I'm feeling this change
>in
>my body and I know it's not normal."  Sometimes a simple statement of fact
>works the best.  In this way you'll slowly bring your wife to the reality
>of
>your illness.
>
>Please be prepared for her to be angry.  That's normal too.  Expect tears
>and some anxiety as well - she has no idea what her future will be, and
>that's scary.
>
>Having said that, I'd like to share that my husband got PD when he was
>forty
>and just retired at 60.  His symptoms have increased gradually over a
>twenty
>year period, but we have learned to cope and adjust as he has changed.  PD
>is a bad disease, but it leaves it's victims with a sound mind and an
>ability to share in life's journey.  I continue to rely on my husband's
>judgement and input in planning our future.  Your wife needs to understand
>that her future isn't as bleak as she is imagining - and neither is your's.
>-----
>God bless
>Mary Ann (CG Jamie 60/20)

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