Alf,
What a comprehensive reaction!
While I agree with what has been said, there is only one thing (at this
stage) that I want to add, viz that you will have to accept the duty that
you have to be not only negative to your cg.  Nobody wants to have
continuous contact with negativity.  Laugh about the challenges that you
face and treat your cg with utmost care - you will need her a lot later.
Regards.

Gerrit Kleynscheldt.

-----Original Message-----
From: Parkinson's Information Exchange Network
[mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of Alf Cousins
Sent: 13 July 2000 06:06
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Thanks Guys

(Please take note, in my parlance "Guys" is non-gender specific)

What a great bunch of guys you are. It was very encouraging to hear your
opinions and reassuring that maybe I am not the 'old hypochondriac' I was in
danger of coming to believe.
Barb, first off the mark and right on the button, yeah, of course we have to
face this intrusion jointly and I'll have to find some patience to help
Paula accept it as much as I have to.
Jaunita, good advice, Paula isn't too patient with computers, especially the
cronky old one at home! but I'm planning to get a new one in a few weeks,
and then I'll encourage her to do some researching and talking. I think it
may be time to take her along on my next consultation, up 'till now I've
worried that when the Doc asks me about new symptoms, she might just chip in
with a "but you've been like that for years..." Anyway, he's convinced about
the diagnosis, so I guess he'll be on my side.
Hillary, spoken from the heart, albeit it late night.... you see the
frustration I sometimes feel. As to your new found friendship, PD isn't
going to go away and like it or not, it will be a part of your daily lives
together. The most desirable partner in the universe is not worth having if
he/she can't accept and adapt to that which you cannot change. You may be
wishing for all kinds of other good reasons for wanting this relationship,
but in reality, having someone who can care for you especially because of
your PD is, in my opinion, one essential pre-requisite.
Janet, you are right, you have to follow your instincts on these things and
take what the moment offers. Hollywood has us all sobbing on that theme,
Mary Ann, it's nice to hear an optimistic view. You are right, PD is
insidious and it will get worse and the impact on my loved ones will
increase. I hope, as you imply, it will change slowly enough to allow us to
adapt as we go.
Audrey, yes, it will take time and it will be harder for Paula to accept
until she sees some 'real' disability. Then I know she will switch into a
very practical 'let's deal with this' mode.
Camilla, you raise an interesting point. The mere probability that a cure
may be found within a few years actually can be used as a shield to fend off
the need to deal with this. Several of my friends, on hearing my situation,
have said 'Ah, but they are going to cure this anyday" They want to reassure
me but they are also walking away from the reality. I hope MJF can get the
job done, but I remember back in the 60's, when cancer was going to be
beaten any day....... we're winning, but we aren't done yet.
Dick, to answer you, I have been the sole breadwinner for more than 25 years
and, even if Paula was able to get work (difficult when 30% of young people
are unemployed), she wouldn't get close to quarter of the salary we've been
living on. So, you are correct, looking to a future which is likely to rob
us of those comfortable years after the kids leave home and before
retirement sets in, can be a frightening prospect.
Jennifer, how I combat this 'mourning' is by developing a curiosity about
what is happening. I have been catapulted into this exclusive club and I'm
going to find out some weird stuff about my body, first hand. In a morbidly
curious way, I'm quite looking forward to it. OK try me in ten years to see
if I still feel the same, but for now, I'm about to start out on a new
adventure.
Judy, I certainly will be trying to introduce the subject a little more with
the family. My youngest son (15) is obviously concerned. After I told him
what I had, a while ago, he went straight to mom to ask if I was going to
die. Now more reassured, he keeps an eye on me "Gee, your hand is shaking
bad today" I guess I'm very conscious that whilst they will experience my
disease with me, I don't want that they should suffer it with me..... see
the difference?

Well that turned out to occupy my whole lunch hour but it was probably the
most productive part of the day! When MJFox opened his web site I sent him a
congratulations message (he didn't reply yet) and encouraged him to remember
that PD isn't constrained by geographical, economic, political or social
boundaries. You guys are proving that, and from my perspective, half a world
away, maybe PD isn't such a bad thing if it brings out so much good in the
human spirit.
We'll be talking again, I'm sure.
Alf
Adelaide, Australia