Dear Friends (and others),
I've read all the posters on moving and find each one rather unique as
well they should because different people have different values and
different make ups, but PD unites us like nothing else can.  Of course,
I have other 'families' such as my co-religionists and Holocaust
co-survivors, but PD unites us in a total ecumenical universe.  Thus,
PD  has become has become my primary concern, i.e. spending hours
reading over 175 e-mails daily, attending all kinds of PD groups, etc.
In line with spending my time here with you, I had less time to care for
the house, painting, repairing leaky faucets, frayed wires, mowing and
weeding and pruning and spraying.  With Barbara afflicted with worsening
symptoms and longer freezing periods, cooking and house chores became
very difficult, and paying others to do, sometimes badly, what we
initially contracted ourselves to do over thirty five years, became a
taxing burden. I was also getting more worried about our safety in a
middle class neighborhood that was attractive to thieves and robbers.
One of our support group members, Dr. Mitch Mills, who wrote an
excellent poster on what to do when a PWP must face hospitalization, has
repeatedly stated that as people age they wait too long to make
important decisions, like durable wills, and moving.

We decided early enough so that we would not be forced into an untenable
final position.  We looked around at several possibilities, but we
decide WE had to move into a more hospitable or user-friendly location.
We received all kinds of legal papers relating to a Senior Campus
Living,  a retirement community, recently renamed the Erickson
Retirement Communities, one of a dozen or so located mostly North East
from Washington DC.  We had these papers reviewed by an attorney and
asked him as the bottom line whether he would place his own mother in
such a place. He responded with a strong yes.

We moved about 20 months ago into this community which has already grown
to about 500 residents over the age of 62.  We have sold our house and
transferred the equity into this community, and as far as I know, this
is the only such retirement home that guarantees a total return of that
deposit.  We pay a monthly fee, essentially as renters, and we get all
free utilities with cable TV, but no phone, and one meal a day, and very
importantly a gated and closed community patrolled day and night.  All
household maintenance, replacements and repairs, some transportation are
part of this rent, and about the only chores I have is laundry (machine
supplied) and cleaning, with assistance easily available.  The community
includes a bank, a salon, a clinic with medical staff, a little grocery
store, a cafe, and entertainment (e.g., tours of museums, concerts at
Kennedy Center, etc.)  is organized by the residents.  We have added
security by having an alarm pull cord in each bath room and bed room
notifying the front desk and the security office.  The response to an
alarm is an immediate call to the apartment to verify the needs while
guards run with emergency equipment to the apartment and call the local
ambulance if the need is subsequently indicated.  Barbara has pulled
that cord several times by accident although she WAS hospitalized twice
after falling.  The community staff increases as the community grows.

We were most fortunate that our married children lived nearby and
concurred with our decision and came to help in every way.  They could
take anything they wanted that we were willing to part with, and then
arranged and handled the 'garage' sale which became necessary to down
size to a two bed-room apartment.  On the day of the move, Barbara went
to stay with our Grand-daughter while the children helped the movers
with the tactical problems, so that when Barb came home, she would have
minimal problems.  The heaviest packages were books ranging from
classics to chemistry to nursing which were mostly donated to the local
public library and many that we can visit in our own community
(Greenspring) library.  We are among the youngest couples here, and
singles predominate, although the parents of one of another couple live
here too and just celebrated their seventy third (73) anniversary.

Some of this may be helter-skelter repeats of previous notes, but I was
told that I may be allowed to forget periodically, which in my case may
be called a junior moment.  This was a hard decision and probably a
final one, but it had to be made to ease the burden.  Sending humor bits
for the chapter papers, and tomorrow evening is the patient care exec
meeting, Tuesday AM, caregivers meeting while the PWP exercise,
Wednesday evening is chapter meeting with Larry Hoffheimer, chapter
pres. to speak on Advocacy and PD (lobbying on Capitol Hill), Thursday
AM working with Holocaust survivors who volunteer, and on and on.  I
could not do that if my daughter did not visit every Tuesday for many
hours, and a hired care giver twice a week more so to give ME respite
than for Barbara.  Thank you, friends,  for reading and responding.
Time to turn off and turn in.  Any questions?

Michel Margosis
'Carpe Diem'