I hope this doesn't give you indigestion!!

http://www.theonion.org/onion3626/hersheys_pay_obese.html



      HERSHEY, PA--In one of the largest product-liability rulings in U.S.
history, the Hershey Foods Corporation was ordered by a Pennsylvania jury
Monday to pay $135 billion in restitution fees to 900,000 obese Americans
who for years consumed the company's fattening snack foods.


      "Let this verdict send a clear message to Big Chocolate," said
Pennsylvania Attorney General Andrew Garsten, addressing reporters following
the historic ruling. "If you knowingly sell products that cause obesity, you
will pay."

      The five-state class-action suit accused Hershey's of "knowingly and
willfully marketing rich, fatty candy bars containing chocolate and other
ingredients of negligible nutritional value." The company was also charged
with publishing nutritional information only under pressure from the
government, marketing products to children, and artificially "spiking" their
products with such substances as peanuts, crisped rice, and caramel to
increase consumer appeal.


Above: Lawyers for the Hershey Corporation announce plans to appeal the
court's decision.
      Jurors took less than five hours to reach the decision following a
two-year trial covering nearly one million snackers in Pennsylvania,
Florida, New Hampshire, Arizona, and Texas. A majority of the unprecedented
punitive damages will go toward obesity victims and their immediate
families. The remainder will be funneled into weight-loss and youth-snacking
prevention programs.

      "This is a vindication for myself and all chocolate victims," said
Beaumont, TX, resident Earl Hoffler, holding a picture of his wife Emily,
who in 1998 succumbed to obesity after nearly 40 years of chocoholism. "This
award cannot bring Emily back, but I take some comfort knowing that her
tragic, unnecessary death did not go unpunished."

      Hoffler's teary-eyed account of his wife's brave battle against
chocolate was widely regarded as the emotional high point of the trial.
First introduced to Hershey's chocolate as a young trick-or-treater, Emily
quickly developed a four-bar-a-day habit, turning in adulthood to Hershey's
Special Dark, a stronger, unfiltered form of the product. By age 47, she had
ballooned to 352 pounds and was a full-blown chocoholic. What little savings
the family had was drained by Weight Watchers memberships, Richard Simmons
videotapes, and Fat Trapper pills, all of which proved futile and only
prolonged the Tofflers' agonizing ordeal.

      Equally pleased by the ruling was Mel Brewer of Phoenix, whose father
received free chocolate as a soldier during World War II.


Above: Just one of the millions of victims of the chocolate confectionary
industry.
      "Dad came back from Europe hooked," Brewer said. "Before long, he was
going through a case of Mounds and Mr. Goodbars a week. He wouldn't eat ice
cream without Hershey's chocolate syrup and crushed Heath bars on it. He
died of a heart attack at age 54 weighing 415 pounds."

      With litigation pending against the nation's top five chocolate
makers, including a $102 billion Mississippi suit against Nestle, the entire
industry is on alert. Big Chocolate has already suffered numerous major
setbacks in recent years. In 1997, a California judge ordered chocolate
manufacturers to fund $27 billion in education programs to prevent youth
chocolate consumption. In 1999, a federal judge prohibited chocolate
advertising on TV and billboards and banned the use of cartoon imagery in
advertising. In addition, the judge ruled that a warning label must be
placed on all chocolate products reading, "The Surgeon General Has
Determined That Eating Chocolate May Lead To Being Really Fat."

      Lawyers for the Hershey Corporation said the company intends to appeal
the decision, which could drive the price of a 1.4-ounce pack of Rolos as
high as $1.29.

      "Adult consumers know the risks involved in using our products,"
Hershey's chief counsel Marvin Black said. "They know that if not used in a
responsible manner, there can be some negative consequences. But this is
true of anything in life. Further, the decision to use our products is one
that has always been left up to the individual. The Hershey Corporation has
never forced anyone to use its products, nor has it ever intentionally added
substances to its candies to increase addictiveness. If consumers are
hooked, it is only because of said candy's overwhelmingly delicious
chocolate goodness."

      Whatever the outcome of the Hershey's appeal, the chocolate industry
has irrevocably changed as a result of Monday's verdict.

      "For over a century, Hershey's has lived off the fat of the land,"
Erie, PA, claimant Pamela Schiff said. "Now it's time to pay us back."

Jorge