Tips to getting family to volunteer

BY SUZANNE PEREZ TOBIAS
Knight Ridder Newspapers
Nov. 20, 2003


WICHITA, Kan. - (KRT) - You already know why your family should volunteer. What you want to know is how?

You're busy. You have young kids - or older ones who'd rather work for money than volunteer. Perhaps you just don't
know where to begin.

Jenny Friedman's been there. That's why she wrote "The Busy Family's Guide to Volunteering."

"If there's one message, it's that anybody can do this, even with very little time and very little effort," said
Friedman, a Minneapolis mother of three.

Her book - released just in time for National Family Volunteer Week, which kicks off Saturday - contains hundreds of
ideas for things families can do together. We've highlighted several on this page.

But first, let's address the roadblocks. Here are five common concerns many parents have about volunteering with their
kids, and some solutions:

_1. My children are too young

Many agencies set minimum age guidelines for volunteers - but don't let that stop you.

Even babies and toddlers, safely perched in a stroller or backpack, can take part in charity walks. They can accompany
you on meal deliveries. They can help your family foster animals for the humane society. They can help clean up a
playground.

One popular activity for youngsters is visiting nursing homes and retirement centers. Courtney Taylor, activities
director for Wichita Presbyterian Manor, says residents' faces light up whenever a child arrives.

"Everybody wants to see the baby," she said. "It's definitely a day-brightener."

Having young children often means volunteering from home - baking cookies or filling boxes of hygiene products to be
delivered to agencies that serve the homeless. As children grow, you can find new opportunities to fit their evolving
skills and interests.

_2. Our family is overbooked

Too many people see volunteering as an all-or-nothing proposition. "They think they need to be at the soup kitchen
every week," Friedman says, "or it doesn't count."

Not true. There are countless one-time volunteer opportunities that aren't tied to organizations and don't even require
advance planning.

Buy an extra can of food and drop it into the store's donation box. E-mail an elected official about an issue you care
about. Sign up for a walk to fight disease. Make a meal for someone who's struggling.

"Do whatever you can do, at whatever level," said Charlotte Shoup Olsen, family specialist at Kansas State University.

"Maybe Mrs. Smith next door needs help getting her leaves raked. So spend an afternoon raking," she said. "Then use
that as an opportunity to talk about helping others."

_3. I'm worried that my children will be depressed or frightened by what they see

At certain ages, some children may not feel comfortable in a hospital, nursing home or homeless shelter. But with a
little preparation and encouragement, most enjoy the experience.

Carolyn Bryant, a kindergarten teacher at Mueller Elementary School, regularly visits Larksfield Place with her class.
But long before the students ever meet their "grand pals," Bryant talks about what they might see - including
wheelchairs, walkers and oxygen tanks - and reads books about elderly people.

A geriatrics expert talks to the class about illnesses such as Parkinson's disease and Alzheimer's. Most importantly,
they focus on ways in which children and senior citizens are alike rather then different.

"In eight years, I've never had a child be afraid," Bryant said. "They thoroughly enjoy it."

If you're still unsure, choose a different sort of activity, such as organizing a recycling drive or collecting toys to
be dropped off at a central location. But give your children a chance before assuming they'll be disturbed by certain
environments.

"Children are exposed to an awful lot of suffering in movies and on television that they can't do anything about,"
Friedman said. "Taking action empowers children. They learn they can do something to change the world."

_4. My kids aren't interested

When Gary and Eileen Wells of Derby first suggested that their family volunteer at the Lord's Diner, helping serve
meals to the needy, their daughter Emily balked.

"I didn't want to do it," the 14-year-old says. "No way."

But having her parents and brother along made the experience easier, she said. "I was scared for, like, the first five
seconds. Then it was fun."

Now she gladly helps out once a month, refilling glasses of iced tea and chatting with the patrons.

It's crucial that children not feel forced into volunteering, Friedman said. But there's nothing wrong with a little
push.

Try to find an interest your child is passionate about and an activity that fits his personality and personal schedule,
she said. For instance, if he sleeps until noon Saturdays, don't try to get up at dawn to clean a highway.

If it helps, let them invite a friend along. Then treat them to a special activity, like a picnic or movie, when your
work's done.

_5. Places I've contacted aren't interested in family volunteers

Many agencies don't encourage families with young kids because they worry about unsupervised children, or because the
work requires a certain level of maturity.

But some have age limits only for certain activities, so it pays to ask. At the Kansas Humane Society, for example, you
have to be 18 to work in the kennels. But younger families are welcome to foster dogs and cats in their homes or
transport animals to pet stores for adoption events.

Sarah Radley, 12, had to beg her parents to let her care for animals. Now her mom, Carolyn, enjoys it as much as her
daughter.

"We've been having a ball with it," Carolyn Radley said. "It's really rewarding to see them on the adoption floor after
you've had them and nurtured them."

Another option for families is to work outside traditional agencies, finding a project you can do on your own or with
other families, Friedman said. Over the years, she and her children have delivered meals to the homebound, cooked at a
homeless shelter and hosted a foreign exchange student.

"Initially I just wanted to do something and didn't want to get a baby-sitter," she said. "I quickly realized how much
it was bringing to my children as well."

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SOURCE: Knight Ridder/Tribune / Centre Daily Times, PA
http://tinyurl.com/vzid

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