www.foodaddicts.org  It's 'free' and works!!!!!!!  Lots of support with it
also, find your local chapter.

-----Original Message-----
From: Parkinson's Information Exchange Network
[mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of patti zapf
Sent: Wednesday, January 20, 2010 4:56 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: advice needed for our daughter

Thanks Wilma for your thoughts.  Very helpful to me and I feel more at peace
after reading the advice given so far:>) I love this listserv.

Kind regards,
Patti cg 16

-----Original Message-----
From: Parkinson's Information Exchange Network
[mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Wilma Forbes
Sent: Tuesday, January 19, 2010 3:23 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: advice needed for our daughter

dear patti,i know exactly what you are going through. we have 6 adolt
children and have put them throughcollege  without paying student loans. now
jim is dx with PD. our funds are gone! we are traveling back and forth to
the Mayo, but we always seem to get through the hard times,with the the help
of our children. never did i imagine this would be a part of our life. also
i am over weight and i decided i was tired of being in denial. i have lost
50 pounds yeaaaa. each one of us has to come to this decision in their own
time, with councling. its good to hear your own thoughts out loud. food
becomes a comfort to all of us.  GOOD LUcVK YOUR NOT ALONE   PEACE WILL




________________________________
From: PATTI ZAPF <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: Mon, January 18, 2010 12:59:36 AM
Subject: advice needed for our daughter

I need help and prayed for guidance and here i find myself writing to all of
you for advice.

Our 24 year old, gorgeous daughter, has become obese over the last 4 years.
She has had wellness check ups and all results were normal.
She has never struggled with her weight before, until she got out on her on,
attended college (not the one of her dreams), met her husband, and has
little financial support from her dad and i, as we pretended to be able to
bring her what she hoped for. We did pay for a lovely afternoon wedding, but
her university schooling has been mostly paid for with her own grants,
loans, and scholarships.

You see, our daughter is very smart . She wants to earn a good salary, and
she has figured getting a degree as an cpa accountant will bring her that.
In the meantime, her young husband had to pay for his way into school too,
just graduated with a 4 year degree, and has big student loans of his own,
that now need to be paid off, and he is working towards that goal.  Her
husband is a hard worker and wants to be able to provide for her.  He is a
physical trainer at a nice health club and is able to work out with our
daughter, a couple of times a week there.  These two are both 24 years young
and married almost 2 years.

Her dad and i really have had blinders on when it comes to running out of
money,.  In our younger years of raising our daughter and son, we pretended
not to be concerned about running out of money, not thinking that a disease
like Parkinsons' would be so disabling, until we are where we are now, and
realize the Parkinson's has not only cost us not only alot of money, but
also has caused us to be less than great parents.

Our daughter is our first child together (my husband has 3 older siblings).
She has been the spot light of our life until her brother came along and
stole some of that light.  She feels that i favor our son, which i hope not
to be doing, but fear sometimes it comes across like that, altho not
intentionally.

Her dad, myself, and our daughter have all gone to a counselor and discussed
her issues at different appointments.  We have offered to pay for her to see
a doctor that maybe could help her gain control of her weight, but she is
now highly offended.  Originally, when we discussed this with our daughter
three years ago, she asked if we thought she was depressed, and we said no
we didn't and left it at that.  I thought oh no, a doctor would prescribe an
anti-depressant medication as a quick fix.

Our daughter does not appear to be really happy.  When she talks about some
things she uses terms like hate and makes negative comments.  She is
incredibly talented in the arts and has a strong head on her shoulders. Her
New York school she dreamed of attending after high school, fell out of
reach, due to our finances.

I wish we could give her the financial support we raised her believing would
be there for her, make her feel better about herself, help her lose the 100
lbs she needs to, and life would be focused on her many wonderful talents.
Her weight scares me, because i know bad things can happen from excess fat
and so, i fear.  She had an injured knee from a car accident 3 years ago,
while her husband was driving, that still hurts her too.

I have read many good bits of advice from several of you on different
issues, so what would you advise to help our dear daughter?  thank you for
sharing your thoughts.

patti cg 16

On Jan 16, 2010, at 12:59 PM, rayilynlee wrote:

> I've had an unusual situation.  Last week I had arranged for help from 
> a
local agency when my neighbor, Teresa, a widow, came to see me because she
had gotten my Cox bill by mistake.  I don't really know her too well as we
met at the local WaMu bank where she was a bank officer who realized we were
neighbors.  Since retiring a couple of years ago she has spent a good amount
of time in her native Bolivia.  Anyway, she wanted the job when I told her I
was in the process of changing my help.  This could be a plus for us both -
I would have help close by and she wouldn't have to drive to part-time
work.  Also it would be a lot cheaper for me.  Her daughter who has 3  kids
is in process of divorce and going back to school to become a nurse needs
money and will most likely do the heavy cleaning and cut my hair.  Sure hope
it works out.
> 
> Kathy took it well and I think she realized that never knowing when 
> she
was coming to work was not acceptable long term.  The agency was nice too.
> 
> Many thanks to all of you who offered advice and comments.  You gave 
> me
the support and spunk I needed to make this change.
> 
> Ray
> 
> Rayilyn Brown
> Past Director AZNPF
> Arizona Chapter National Parkinson Foundation
> 
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