Dear Lucy,
 
First I wish your father a very happy birthday. It will be a special one,
because I'm convinced that a lot of listfriends will send a poem-present.
 
You wrote, you allready had gathered poems after august 1. It has been a very
weird tim with the listserver and AOL not working so I'll send you a few poems,
but some of them you might allready have.
 
I wrote one for your father : PDPOETRY
If you can read Dutch, then I have more poems for you/him
 
 
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Morning
 
The Morning is coming,
Whit mists from the dark
The singing of the Lark
And my hands  are still heavy.
 
My body is acting slowly,
very aware of the gravity,
but my mind is far ahead,
My beloved brains know me.
 
But I also hate them so much,
because it's there where it is NOT happening
the neurotransmitters are striking,
and I can't keep in touch.
 
OUTside the curtains are wiped away,
by a fresh Morningwind, that comes oversea,
The birds keep on singing ans that's a good thing
it just happens and NOT only to me.
 
Listening to the birds in the morning,
a few moments each day ; then you know
what we're missing  when yourning:
people  are watching and listening to them.
 
Flying high in the sky and glancing.
But sometimes it is raining
but the birds keep on singing
Although their living is hard working.
 
Let that be our message to bring:
keep on singing in the morning,
while soon the evening will come:
Nobody knows if one CAN keep on singing
 
When the evening has come.
So be sure of one thing to happen
to the birds and mankind :
then silence has taken over.
 
Kees Paap
May 24, 1994
 
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IF
 
IF we knew what we know now,
we wouldn't have done so,
but,  then we need to know,
what we did and certainly how,
So, IF we change our own future,
without knowing the consequences,
we possible wouldn't write, I'm sure,
about PD, but about the references
of the butler or the maid,
how much they get payed
or about the weather, how hot,
IF we could talk, why not?
Not able to talk, or write?
Nobody who supports you by side?
here's why, whe know at last
IF we change the past,
then we shouldn't do it a second time,
because of the decreasing quality of life
at each step we do back!!
So, make up your mind
but be sure of one thing,
the decision you make is yours,
be certain of it and never regret
it is not when, but ............... IF
 
 
kees paap
august 19, 1995
 
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Fromloading
 
Downloading a message or a file,
has nothing to do with feeling "down"
It's a matter of saying, it is so called :"computerstyle"
 
Back to the sixties when computers became a common part
The Beatles allready sung about  feeling :"Down, down to the ground"
Is it since?, that I'm feeling down sometimes, whas it the PD-start?
 
Did I load myself down, down to the ground of Mother Earth?
No I did not ! It just started and after twenty Years  I found
One should not load DOWN but UP, because life, it's worth.
 
Uploading is like giving things with your Heart, like freindship and love
Allthough it is often accepted withput any scepsis or even with a rejecting
sound
of silence, everybody should hear about people loading UP: That's enough
 
No downloading in my dictonaire, that word is baadly chosen
Just loading FROM and TO, nobody should be singing around
about down, because from is much more Friendly spoken.
 
So this message should reach every modem-user in the world
fom now on we use FROM- and TOLOADING because it s a better sound;
The sound of those who are often down, but rather speak of "off".
 
Kees Paap
28 augustus 1994
 
 
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PDPOETRY
 
Why so many poets who try,
showing feelings in writing about PD,
It is not a relevant question why,
but it is because, the Disease.
What makes a poet  write?
What makes the reader understand?
Because we're positiv in spite
That our aims and our first future went.
It went, when the neurologist told us
"You have Parkinson, here is a pill"
That moment was the start of a new future,
unknown, but yet we live our life, we WILL :
survive and make our quality of living with PD
by giving tips, help where we can and support
those who may give up, we help to BE !
Losing a friend without giving any effort
is not our style, because we all die each day a little
and the more we die, the more we live together
and write about PD, one is a POET
and I? I only TRY
 
Kees Paap
July 28 1995
 
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The Imposter
 
Who is that person living in my body?
Why does he take over the steering whenever he likes?
 
Hey, you, inside my, stay of the brakes,
Let me take some pills, then I can kick you out of my life.
 
But he is very strong, this imposter,
he is not leaving allthough I'm dancing the Jive,
 
Wilder and wilder, and he is still not leaving.
I take some more pills, then I KICK you out of my life !!!!!
 
Good, he's taking a rest so I can talk to this guy
and ask him :"will you please get out of my life"
 
He won't listen to begging or threathening, so we now share this body
We argued and fought a lot, but finally laid down our knife.
 
We are working together now, in this 44 years ols body.
I'm working, working and working, thats because I like.
 
There is so much to be done, I do it WITH him.
And every day is the start, of the rest of my life.
 
 
Kees Paap
june 2 1994
 
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Fighting
 
Overweight,
Lonelyness,
Uncontrolled,
Stiffness....
 
One should get tired,
of fighting one of these,
but not the one I met,
she fights for her sake.
 
She is afraid for the rest of her life
what will it be?
Allways on practice,
Can't eat the food she likes?
 
Can't speak with someone each moment
because one day she will be alone?
Can't get control of her body,
Even her mind is upset.
 
YES, you won't be alone
there is always someone
with Parkinson's around
to get you out of depression.
 
Help you to fight
against your slight problems,
compared to those of them,
where it is ALWAYS night.
 
Kees Paap
July 5 1995
 
 
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MACK !!!!!!!!!