You also may want to include this set of messages to our NUKE man:From humor-own
 er
# Oxymoron, from the ancient Greek:  Oxus = "sharp", Moros = "dull"
 
Oxymoron: Carefully selected volunteers.
 
When large numbers of men are unable to find work, unemployment results.
        -- Calvin Coolidge
 
For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like.
        -- Abraham Lincoln
 
That that is, is.
 
Why is this thus?  What is the reason for this thusness?  --  Artemus Ward
 
Ah well, they say its not as bad as they say it is.
 
Oxymoron:  Black Light
 
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
 
Oxymoron:  Left Handed Screwdrivers.
 
Oxymoron:  Straight hooks.
 
It was as bad as being up a creek in a barbed wire canoe.
 
Oxymoron:  Compulsory volunteers
 
Oxymoron:  College student
 
Oxymoron:  Jumbo shrimp
 
That shoe fits him like a glove.
 
I wouldn't be paranoid if everyone didn't pick on me.
 
Oxymorons:  Plastic lemons, rubber bones, bricked-up windows, artificial grass,
plastic flowers, invisible ink.
 
People have one thing in common:  they are all different.
 
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
        -- Mark Twain
 
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
        -- Paul Valery
 
When one has good health it is not serious to be ill.  --  Francis Blanche
 
Is there life before death?  --  Belfast Graffito
 
Often it is fatal to live too long.  --  Racine
 
The first condition of immortality is death.  --  Stanislaw Lec
 
Oxymoron:  As famous as the unknown soldier.
 
Anyone who isn't confused here doesn't really know what's going on.
 
I must follow the people.  Am I not their leader?  --  Benjamin Disraeli
 
The saddest moment in a person's life comes but once.
 
A commercial traveller was passing through a small town when he came upon a
huge funeral procession.  "Who died?" he asked a nearby local.  "I'm not sure,"
replied the local, "but I think its the one in the coffin."
 
The dumplings in a dream are not dumplings, only dreams.
 
He lived his life to the end.
 
You always find something in the last place you look.
 
A woman met a man walking along the street wearing only one shoe.  "Just lost a
shoe?" she asked.  He answered, "Nope, just found one."
 
Classified ad:  For Sale: Man's suit, perfect fit.
 
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception,
is composed of others.  --  John Andrew Holmes
 
Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot; others transform a yellow
spot into the sun.  --  Pablo Picasso
 
Beyond each corner new directions lie in wait.  --  Stanislaw Lec
 
My play was a complete success.  The audience was a failure.
 
My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
        -- Ashleigh Brilliant
 
A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
        -- Arthur Schoperhauer
 
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.  --  Ambrose Bierce
 
You can observe a lot just by watchin'.  --  Yogi Berra
 
In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.
        -- Pliny the Elder
 
The English certainly and fiercely pride themselves in never praising
themselves.  --  Wyndham Lewis
 
I have made mistakes, but have never made the mistake of claiming I never made
one.  --  James G. Bennet
 
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never
learn anything from history.  --  George Bernard Shaw
 
Trapped, like a trap in a trap.  --  Dorothy Parker
 
I am not sincere, even when I say I am not.  --  Jules Renard
 
You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I
deserve it.  --  W.S. Gilbert
 
Great Rules for writing from William Safire in the New York Times:
Do not put statements in the negative form.
And don't start sentences with a conjunction.
It is incumbent on one to avoid archaisms.
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of
        repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
De-accession euphemisms.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
 
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.
 
Graffiti seen in Pompeii:  Everyone writes on the walls but me.
 
Hypochondria is the one disease I have not got.
 
Procrastinate now!
 
I've told you for the fifty-thousandth time, stop exaggerating.
 
Young Man:  Why do philosophers ask so many questions?
Old Philosopher:  Why shouldn't philosophers ask so many questions?
 
What is the world to a man who's wife is a widow.
 
A stone was placed at a ford in a river with the inscription:
"When this stone is covered it is dangerous to ford here."
 
In the city today the temperature rose to 180 degrees.  This sudden rise of
temperature was responsible for the intolerable heat.
 
"Have you lived in this village all your life?"
"No, not yet."
 
"Who is the oldest inhabitant of this village?"
"We haven't got one; we had one, but he died three weeks ago."
 
"Hey, somebody cut the end off this rope!"
 
"Hey, Trixie, what's your earliest memory?"
"Umm...I don't remember!"
 
Overheard in hotel:
"It's eight o'clock, sir!"
"Why the devil didn't you tell me that before?"
 
Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down.
        -- Ashleigh Brilliant
 
There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.
        -- Salvador Dali
 
Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore.  It's too crowded.
 
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library
out of a library that hadn't a book in it.  --  Mark Twain
 
I tripped over a hole that was sticking up out of the ground.
 
Samuel Goldwyn, when told his son was getting married:
"Thank heaven.  A bachelor's life is no life for a single man."
 
A hospital is no place to be sick.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Our comedies are not to be laughed at.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
I can give you a definite perhaps.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Samuel Goldwyn, when told a script was full of old cliches:
"Let's have some new cliches."
 
Reporter: You say you've never made a picture before?
Samuel Goldwyn: Yes, but that's our strongest weak point.
 
Gentleman, include me out.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
I can tell you in two words: im possible.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Samuel Goldwyn, on being told that a friend had named his son Sam, after him:
"Why did you do that?  Every Tom, Dick and Harry is named Sam!"
 
I paid too much for it, but its worth it.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Gentlemen, for your information, I have a question to ask you.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
I read part of it all the way through.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
Let's bring it up to date with some snappy nineteenth century dialogue.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
Samuel Goldwyn: What kind of dancing does Martha Graham do?
Associate: Modern dancing.
Samuel Goldwyn: I don't want her then, modern dancing is so old fashioned.
 
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
Bookkeeper: Mr. Goldwyn, our files are bulging with paperwork we no
            longer need.  May I have your permission to destroy all
            records before 1945?
Goldwyn:    Certainly.  Just be sure to keep a copy of everything.
 
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
(On a film set of a tenement)
Goldwyn  : Why is everything so dirty here?
Director : Because it's supposed to be a slum area.
Goldwyn  : Well, this slum cost a lot of money.  It should look
           better than an ordinary slum.
 
Gentlemen, listen to me slowly.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
That's the trouble with directors -- always biting the hand that lays the
golden egg.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Keep a stiff upper chin.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
"...We have that Indian scene.  We can get the Indians from the reservoir."
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
(In discussing Lillian Helman's play, "The Children's Hour")
Goldwyn  :  Maybe we ought to buy it?
Associate:  Forget it, Mr. Goldwyn, its about Lesbians.
Goldwyn  :  That's okay, we'll make them Americans.
 
Don't worry about the war.  It's all over but the shooting.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
Associate:  It's to caustic for film.
Goldwyn  :  To hell with the cost, if it's a good story, I'll make it.
# Oxymoron, from the ancient Greek:  Oxus = "sharp", Moros = "dull"
 
Oxymoron: Carefully selected volunteers.
 
When large numbers of men are unable to find work, unemployment results.
        -- Calvin Coolidge
 
For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like.
        -- Abraham Lincoln
 
That that is, is.
 
Why is this thus?  What is the reason for this thusness?  --  Artemus Ward
 
Ah well, they say its not as bad as they say it is.
 
Oxymoron:  Black Light
 
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
 
Oxymoron:  Left Handed Screwdrivers.
 
Oxymoron:  Straight hooks.
 
It was as bad as being up a creek in a barbed wire canoe.
 
Oxymoron:  Compulsory volunteers
 
Oxymoron:  College student
 
Oxymoron:  Jumbo shrimp
 
That shoe fits him like a glove.
 
I wouldn't be paranoid if everyone didn't pick on me.
 
Oxymorons:  Plastic lemons, rubber bones, bricked-up windows, artificial grass,
plastic flowers, invisible ink.
 
People have one thing in common:  they are all different.
 
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
        -- Mark Twain
 
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
        -- Paul Valery
 
When one has good health it is not serious to be ill.  --  Francis Blanche
 
Is there life before death?  --  Belfast Graffito
 
Often it is fatal to live too long.  --  Racine
 
The first condition of immortality is death.  --  Stanislaw Lec
 
Oxymoron:  As famous as the unknown soldier.
 
Anyone who isn't confused here doesn't really know what's going on.
 
I must follow the people.  Am I not their leader?  --  Benjamin Disraeli
 
The saddest moment in a person's life comes but once.
 
A commercial traveller was passing through a small town when he came upon a
huge funeral procession.  "Who died?" he asked a nearby local.  "I'm not sure,"
replied the local, "but I think its the one in the coffin."
 
The dumplings in a dream are not dumplings, only dreams.
 
He lived his life to the end.
 
You always find something in the last place you look.
 
A woman met a man walking along the street wearing only one shoe.  "Just lost a
shoe?" she asked.  He answered, "Nope, just found one."
 
Classified ad:  For Sale: Man's suit, perfect fit.
 
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception,
is composed of others.  --  John Andrew Holmes
 
Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot; others transform a yellow
spot into the sun.  --  Pablo Picasso
 
Beyond each corner new directions lie in wait.  --  Stanislaw Lec
 
My play was a complete success.  The audience was a failure.
 
My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
        -- Ashleigh Brilliant
 
A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
        -- Arthur Schoperhauer
 
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.  --  Ambrose Bierce
 
You can observe a lot just by watchin'.  --  Yogi Berra
 
In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.
        -- Pliny the Elder
 
The English certainly and fiercely pride themselves in never praising
themselves.  --  Wyndham Lewis
 
I have made mistakes, but have never made the mistake of claiming I never made
one.  --  James G. Bennet
 
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never
learn anything from history.  --  George Bernard Shaw
 
Trapped, like a trap in a trap.  --  Dorothy Parker
 
I am not sincere, even when I say I am not.  --  Jules Renard
 
You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I
deserve it.  --  W.S. Gilbert
 
Great Rules for writing from William Safire in the New York Times:
Do not put statements in the negative form.
And don't start sentences with a conjunction.
It is incumbent on one to avoid archaisms.
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of
        repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
De-accession euphemisms.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
 
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.
 
Graffiti seen in Pompeii:  Everyone writes on the walls but me.
 
Hypochondria is the one disease I have not got.
 
Procrastinate now!
 
I've told you for the fifty-thousandth time, stop exaggerating.
 
Young Man:  Why do philosophers ask so many questions?
Old Philosopher:  Why shouldn't philosophers ask so many questions?
 
What is the world to a man who's wife is a widow.
 
A stone was placed at a ford in a river with the inscription:
"When this stone is covered it is dangerous to ford here."
 
In the city today the temperature rose to 180 degrees.  This sudden rise of
temperature was responsible for the intolerable heat.
 
"Have you lived in this village all your life?"
"No, not yet."
 
"Who is the oldest inhabitant of this village?"
"We haven't got one; we had one, but he died three weeks ago."
 
"Hey, somebody cut the end off this rope!"
 
"Hey, Trixie, what's your earliest memory?"
"Umm...I don't remember!"
 
Overheard in hotel:
"It's eight o'clock, sir!"
"Why the devil didn't you tell me that before?"
 
Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down.
        -- Ashleigh Brilliant
 
There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.
        -- Salvador Dali
 
Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore.  It's too crowded.
 
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library
out of a library that hadn't a book in it.  --  Mark Twain
 
I tripped over a hole that was sticking up out of the ground.
 
Samuel Goldwyn, when told his son was getting married:
"Thank heaven.  A bachelor's life is no life for a single man."
 
A hospital is no place to be sick.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Our comedies are not to be laughed at.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
I can give you a definite perhaps.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Samuel Goldwyn, when told a script was full of old cliches:
"Let's have some new cliches."
 
Reporter: You say you've never made a picture before?
Samuel Goldwyn: Yes, but that's our strongest weak point.
 
Gentleman, include me out.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
I can tell you in two words: im possible.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Samuel Goldwyn, on being told that a friend had named his son Sam, after him:
"Why did you do that?  Every Tom, Dick and Harry is named Sam!"
 
I paid too much for it, but its worth it.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Gentlemen, for your information, I have a question to ask you.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
I read part of it all the way through.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
Let's bring it up to date with some snappy nineteenth century dialogue.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
Samuel Goldwyn: What kind of dancing does Martha Graham do?
Associate: Modern dancing.
Samuel Goldwyn: I don't want her then, modern dancing is so old fashioned.
 
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
Bookkeeper: Mr. Goldwyn, our files are bulging with paperwork we no
            longer need.  May I have your permission to destroy all
            records before 1945?
Goldwyn:    Certainly.  Just be sure to keep a copy of everything.
 
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
(On a film set of a tenement)
Goldwyn  : Why is everything so dirty here?
Director : Because it's supposed to be a slum area.
Goldwyn  : Well, this slum cost a lot of money.  It should look
           better than an ordinary slum.
 
Gentlemen, listen to me slowly.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
That's the trouble with directors -- always biting the hand that lays the
golden egg.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Keep a stiff upper chin.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
"...We have that Indian scene.  We can get the Indians from the reservoir."
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
(In discussing Lillian Helman's play, "The Children's Hour")
Goldwyn  :  Maybe we ought to buy it?
Associate:  Forget it, Mr. Goldwyn, its about Lesbians.
Goldwyn  :  That's okay, we'll make them Americans.
 
Don't worry about the war.  It's all over but the shooting.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
Associate:  It's to caustic for film.
Goldwyn  :  To hell with the cost, if it's a good story, I'll make it.
# Oxymoron, from the ancient Greek:  Oxus = "sharp", Moros = "dull"
 
Oxymoron: Carefully selected volunteers.
 
When large numbers of men are unable to find work, unemployment results.
        -- Calvin Coolidge
 
For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like.
        -- Abraham Lincoln
 
That that is, is.
 
Why is this thus?  What is the reason for this thusness?  --  Artemus Ward
 
Ah well, they say its not as bad as they say it is.
 
Oxymoron:  Black Light
 
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
 
Oxymoron:  Left Handed Screwdrivers.
 
Oxymoron:  Straight hooks.
 
It was as bad as being up a creek in a barbed wire canoe.
 
Oxymoron:  Compulsory volunteers
 
Oxymoron:  College student
 
Oxymoron:  Jumbo shrimp
 
That shoe fits him like a glove.
 
I wouldn't be paranoid if everyone didn't pick on me.
 
Oxymorons:  Plastic lemons, rubber bones, bricked-up windows, artificial grass,
plastic flowers, invisible ink.
 
People have one thing in common:  they are all different.
 
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
        -- Mark Twain
 
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
        -- Paul Valery
 
When one has good health it is not serious to be ill.  --  Francis Blanche
 
Is there life before death?  --  Belfast Graffito
 
Often it is fatal to live too long.  --  Racine
 
The first condition of immortality is death.  --  Stanislaw Lec
 
Oxymoron:  As famous as the unknown soldier.
 
Anyone who isn't confused here doesn't really know what's going on.
 
I must follow the people.  Am I not their leader?  --  Benjamin Disraeli
 
The saddest moment in a person's life comes but once.
 
A commercial traveller was passing through a small town when he came upon a
huge funeral procession.  "Who died?" he asked a nearby local.  "I'm not sure,"
replied the local, "but I think its the one in the coffin."
 
The dumplings in a dream are not dumplings, only dreams.
 
He lived his life to the end.
 
You always find something in the last place you look.
 
A woman met a man walking along the street wearing only one shoe.  "Just lost a
shoe?" she asked.  He answered, "Nope, just found one."
 
Classified ad:  For Sale: Man's suit, perfect fit.
 
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception,
is composed of others.  --  John Andrew Holmes
 
Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot; others transform a yellow
spot into the sun.  --  Pablo Picasso
 
Beyond each corner new directions lie in wait.  --  Stanislaw Lec
 
My play was a complete success.  The audience was a failure.
 
My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
        -- Ashleigh Brilliant
 
A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
        -- Arthur Schoperhauer
 
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.  --  Ambrose Bierce
 
You can observe a lot just by watchin'.  --  Yogi Berra
 
In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.
        -- Pliny the Elder
 
The English certainly and fiercely pride themselves in never praising
themselves.  --  Wyndham Lewis
 
I have made mistakes, but have never made the mistake of claiming I never made
one.  --  James G. Bennet
 
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never
learn anything from history.  --  George Bernard Shaw
 
Trapped, like a trap in a trap.  --  Dorothy Parker
 
I am not sincere, even when I say I am not.  --  Jules Renard
 
You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I
deserve it.  --  W.S. Gilbert
 
Great Rules for writing from William Safire in the New York Times:
Do not put statements in the negative form.
And don't start sentences with a conjunction.
It is incumbent on one to avoid archaisms.
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of
        repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
De-accession euphemisms.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
 
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.
 
Graffiti seen in Pompeii:  Everyone writes on the walls but me.
 
Hypochondria is the one disease I have not got.
 
Procrastinate now!
 
I've told you for the fifty-thousandth time, stop exaggerating.
 
Young Man:  Why do philosophers ask so many questions?
Old Philosopher:  Why shouldn't philosophers ask so many questions?
 
What is the world to a man who's wife is a widow.
 
A stone was placed at a ford in a river with the inscription:
"When this stone is covered it is dangerous to ford here."
 
In the city today the temperature rose to 180 degrees.  This sudden rise of
temperature was responsible for the intolerable heat.
 
"Have you lived in this village all your life?"
"No, not yet."
 
"Who is the oldest inhabitant of this village?"
"We haven't got one; we had one, but he died three weeks ago."
 
"Hey, somebody cut the end off this rope!"
 
"Hey, Trixie, what's your earliest memory?"
"Umm...I don't remember!"
 
Overheard in hotel:
"It's eight o'clock, sir!"
"Why the devil didn't you tell me that before?"
 
Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down.
        -- Ashleigh Brilliant
 
There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.
        -- Salvador Dali
 
Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore.  It's too crowded.
 
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library
out of a library that hadn't a book in it.  --  Mark Twain
 
I tripped over a hole that was sticking up out of the ground.
 
Samuel Goldwyn, when told his son was getting married:
"Thank heaven.  A bachelor's life is no life for a single man."
 
A hospital is no place to be sick.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Our comedies are not to be laughed at.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
I can give you a definite perhaps.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Samuel Goldwyn, when told a script was full of old cliches:
"Let's have some new cliches."
 
Reporter: You say you've never made a picture before?
Samuel Goldwyn: Yes, but that's our strongest weak point.
 
Gentleman, include me out.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
I can tell you in two words: im possible.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Samuel Goldwyn, on being told that a friend had named his son Sam, after him:
"Why did you do that?  Every Tom, Dick and Harry is named Sam!"
 
I paid too much for it, but its worth it.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Gentlemen, for your information, I have a question to ask you.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
I read part of it all the way through.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
Let's bring it up to date with some snappy nineteenth century dialogue.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
Samuel Goldwyn: What kind of dancing does Martha Graham do?
Associate: Modern dancing.
Samuel Goldwyn: I don't want her then, modern dancing is so old fashioned.
 
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
Bookkeeper: Mr. Goldwyn, our files are bulging with paperwork we no
            longer need.  May I have your permission to destroy all
            records before 1945?
Goldwyn:    Certainly.  Just be sure to keep a copy of everything.
 
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
(On a film set of a tenement)
Goldwyn  : Why is everything so dirty here?
Director : Because it's supposed to be a slum area.
Goldwyn  : Well, this slum cost a lot of money.  It should look
           better than an ordinary slum.
 
Gentlemen, listen to me slowly.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
That's the trouble with directors -- always biting the hand that lays the
golden egg.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
Keep a stiff upper chin.  --  Samuel Goldwyn
 
"...We have that Indian scene.  We can get the Indians from the reservoir."
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
(In discussing Lillian Helman's play, "The Children's Hour")
Goldwyn  :  Maybe we ought to buy it?
Associate:  Forget it, Mr. Goldwyn, its about Lesbians.
Goldwyn  :  That's okay, we'll make them Americans.
 
Don't worry about the war.  It's all over but the shooting.
        -- Samuel Goldwyn
 
Associate:  It's to caustic for film.
Goldwyn  :  To hell with the cost, if it's a good story, I'l
 
 
 
 
                        Michael E. Baginski
                        Professor of Electrical Engineering
                        Auburn, University
                        Auburn, Alabama
                        WWW homepage:"http://www.eng.auburn.edu:80/users/mikeb/
                        Phone:  (334) 844-1874
                        e-mail  [log in to unmask]