Hi Nancy, thank you for your reply, what you said is so true.
 
 (No one else for support for mother-in-law with PD+)
 
My mother-in-law's sister has been asked to just come by and say Hi.  Even
when their mother died in April, she just phoned and told her, never came by
to give her sister a hug or anything.  She says she has her own problems.
She is a nurse (on call)  I felt so bad for Doreen because her husband was
in the hospital, my husband and I had to find a permanent home for her
handicapped son (my husband's 1/2 brother, Doreen is his step mother, but we
love her dearly) We have brought him home some weekends. (My husband and I
moved in when Dad went to the hospital for 3 months)  She'd lost so much in
such a short time, but you know she handled it like a trooper.
 
BUT!
 
My mother-in-law really upset me today.  I wrote a long letter to the list,
but changed my mind and deleted it, I decided to write it again.
 
We have been driving their van since dad got out of the hospital. We do not
have a car.  He is not allowed to drive, he's on medication, dilatin for
seizures, etc... My husband and I do all their errands for them, as well as
take them to all their appointments and shopping, which we really don't
mind, but this month we are really having it rough financially. We got my
mother-in-law life line and we are second on the list to be called if she
falls. The first on the list is their supposedly good friends across the
alley, who happen to never hear the phone.  My husband has drove across town
in the middle of the night to help Doreen after she has fallen, because Dad
was to weak, and still is. That is the reason we need their Van.
 
I am not working and my husband is a salesman - commission only.  He hasn't
been able to get out and make any sales because he does so much other
running around. We told Doreen if she could wait till the weekend to go
grocery shopping so my husband can try and make some money.  Well this
morning she had Dad phone, she wanted to go shopping today, and "if my
husband didn't take her, he was to bring the van back and park it." Yea,
right, who would take her then?  she's probably planning on talking dad into
driving her around.  He's recovering very slowly from the 3 brain operations
he's had in less than a month, 2 within a day, April/95, he is 67, he's
shaky, and barely has the use of his right arm.  He can't drive. What if he
got into an accident? We've bent over backwards for her. I just wanted to
tell my husband to give the van back and let her fend for herself.  There
are only the two of them and they have 2 freezers full of food. She doesn't
have to shop 2,3,4, x a week.  I don't get out that much. I know its just
because she wants out of the house.  Needless to say my husband  took her
shopping - another day - no work. I think she's being selfish.
 
Please someone out there help me to maybe understand.  I've called the PD
Foundation here in Edmonton and am waiting for an answer on a support group
for my mother-in-law.  I will approach her when I have the dates & time, I
hope she will consider it. She can cry, complain about us, do whatever,
maybe even make some new friends. My husband or I will take her.  I think it
would be good for her. She opens up to me only once in a while, to her I am
the child.(I'm 37) She's the mom.
 
This is the first time I have complained, I feel guilty.
 
We have two children of our own.
 
Thanks for being here, sorry if I've talked to much.
 
Debra
Edmonton
mharper@worldgate