Though some might enjoy this
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Forwarded message:
From:   [log in to unmask] (Kerry L. Kahl)
To:     [log in to unmask] (David Rohrbaugh)
CC:     [log in to unmask] (Colleen Rohrbaugh), [log in to unmask]
(Barry Witham), [log in to unmask] (Fendall Yerxa)
Date: 96-01-04 12:04:47 EST
 
Happy b'day, Mr. R ! ! !
 
---------- Forwarded message ----------
 
For your morning enjoyment:
>
>>               Caught in the Act or Lack of Common Sense
>>                *****************************************
>>
>>     Originally from the San Jose Mercury news, "News of the Weird".
>>
>>     (a) Portsmouth, R.I.  Police charged Gregory Rosa, 25, with
>>         a string of vending machine robberies in January when
>>         he (1) fled from police inexplicably when they spotted
>>         him loitering around a vending machine and (2) later
>>         tried to post his $400 bail in coins.
>>
>>     (b) Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in Lake City,
>>         Florida for robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel.  She
>>         was armed with only an electric chain saw, which was
>>         not plugged in.
>>
>>     (c) The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
>>         into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50am,
>>         flashed a gun and demanded cash.  The clerk turned him
>>         down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
>>         without a food order.  When the man ordered onion rings,
>>         the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.  The
>>         man, frustrated, walked away.
>>
>>     And it gets better:
>>
>>     (d) David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence,
>>         R.I, after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver
>>         and stealing the closest four bags of money.  It turned
>>         out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds
>>         each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so
>>         that police officers easily jumped him from behind.
>>
>>     (e) The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that
>>         a man suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said
>>         he couldn't have done it *because he was busy breaking
>>         into a school at the same time.*  Police then arrested
>>         him for breaking into the school.
>>
>>     (f) Drug-possession defendant Christopher so-and-so, on trial
>>         in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched
>>         without a warrant.  The prosecutor said the officer didn't
>>         need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket
>>         could have been a gun.  Nonsense, said Christopher, who
>>         happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court.
>>         He handed it over so the judge could see it.  The
>>         judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and
>>         laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose
>>         himself.
>>
>>     (g) Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz gave himself
>>         five-inch-long welts in March when he tried to iron his
>>         polo shirt while wearing it.  "I've ironed that way five
>>         or six times," he said, "and never had it happen."
>>
>>     (h) Dave so-and-so of Anniston, Alabama, was injured recently
>>         after he attempted to replace a tubelike fuse in his Chevy
>>         pickup with a 22-caliber rifle bullet (used because it was
>>         a perfect fit).  However, when electricity heated the
>>         bullet, it went off and shot him in the knee.