THE WAY IT IS

There was this male engineer, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean for the
first time.  It was wonderful, the experience of his life.  He was being
waited on hand and foot.  But, it did not last.  A hurricane came up
unexpectedly and the ship went down almost instantly.

The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of an island.
There was nothing else anywhere to be seen.  No person, no supplies,
nothing.  The man looked around.  There were some bananas and coconuts, but
that was it.  He was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the best
of it. So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, and
mostly looked to the sea mightily for a ship to come to his rescue.

One day, as he was lying on the beach, stroking his beard, and looking for
a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye.  Could it be
true?  Was it a ship?  No!  From around the corner of the island came this
rowboat.  In it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, or at least
had seen in 4 months. She was tall, tanned, and her blond hair flowing in
the sea breeze gave her an almost ethereal quality.  She spotted him as he
was waving and yelling and screaming to get her attention, and rowed her
boat towards him.

In disbelief, he asked, "Where did you come from?  How did you get here"?

She answered, "I rowed from the other side of the island.  I landed on this
island when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing", he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived.  How many of
you are there?  Where, did you get the rowboat?  You must have been really
lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you?"

"It is only me", she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up with me.
Nothing did."

"Well then", said the man, "how did you get the rowboat?"

"I made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the island,"
replied the woman.  "The oars were whittled from gum tree branches.  I wove
the tree."

"But, but," asked the man, "what about tools and hardware?  How did you do
that?"

"Oh, no problem," replied the woman, "on the south side of the island there
is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed.  I found that if I fired
it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile
iron.  I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. But
enough of that," she said.  "Where do you live?"

At last the man was forced to confess that he had been sleeping on the
beach.  "Well, let's row over to my place, she said."  So they both got
into the rowboat and left for her side of island.

The woman easily rowed them around to a wharf that led to the approach to
her place.  She tied up the rowboat with a beautifully woven hemp rope.
They walked up a stone walk and around a palm tree.  There stood an
exquisite bungalow, painted in blue and white.

"It's not much," she said, "but I call it home.  Sit down please.  Would
you like to have a drink?"

"No," said the man, "one more coconut juice and I'll throw up."

"It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied, "I have a still.  How about
a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down
on her couch to talk.

After a while, when they had exchanged their stories, the woman asked,
"Tell me, have you always had a beard?"

"No", the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life, and even on the
cruise ship."

"Well if you would like to shave, there is a man's razor upstairs in the
cabinet in the bathroom." So, the man, astounded beyond cognition, went
upstairs to the bathroom. Sure enough, there in the cabinet was a razor
made from a bone handle, two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were
fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism.  The man shaved,
showered and went back down stairs.

"You look great," said the woman, "I think I will go up and slip into
something more comfortable."  And she did.

The man continued to sip his Pina Colada.  After a short time, the woman
returned wearing fig leafs, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly
of gardenia.

"Tell me," she asked, "we have both been out here for a very long time with
no companionship.  You know what I mean.  Have you been lonely?  Is there
anything that you really miss?  Something that all men and woman need.
Something that it would be really nice to have right now."

"Yes there is," the man replied, as he moved closer to the woman while
fixing a winsome gaze upon her,  "Tell me ... do you happen to have an
Internet connection?"