David Langridge wrote:
>
> The messsage from Barbara Yacos could not have been sent on a more
> appropriate day when Charles and Di were officially divorced and Di was
> divested of her Royal Highness title.And so dear Barbara if you want to find
> out more from Di about the village you no longer have to curtsy and say Ma'm
> or in your words 'bow and scrape' and can with impunity greet her by saying
> 'Hi Di'without risking being frog marched to the Tower of London and
> suffering the ultimate  penalty for disrespect.Yes we still have a few old
> fashioned customs here even if we are a washout at the Olympics.Talking
> about washouts if your are thinking of visiting this week - don't- it's
> raining.I'm not certain by the way that Di is still patron of the Parkinson
> Disease Society.She has resigned from most of her official positions no
> doubt to concentrate on learning how to manage on her measly fifteen million
> severance packet small fry to what I suspect someone like Ivana Trump got.I
> digress.
>
> Lying awake last night during the witching hour my imagination began to run
> riot.Was there really a Parkinson village - a whole village inhabited only
> by Parkies - a sort of Parkinson list in the flesh? It would have to be in
> the depths of the English countryside.There would be lots of picturesque
> cottages with thatched rooves and roses growing over the walls-gardens full
> of hollyhocks lupins and foxgloves; neat little vegetable patches devoted to
> growing Broad(Faba) beans.Neighbours would greet each other with little
> remarks like 'Come in and have some of my cyder vinegar- it's very good for
> cramp.Or 'There is a new man moved in to Honeysuckle cottage - you wouldn't
> think he has Parkinsons - mind you they say he is up to 3000mg a day.He'll
> pay for it one day mark my words ' Yes, gossip woould be rife. In the
> village hall there would be something going on every day  - on Sunday a
> constipation forum hosted by Dr Block( limited seating- bring your own
> stools).Tuesday morning Tai Chi classes. The village pub aptly called - wait
> for it  -yes - 'The Parkinson Arms' would have a cheery 'On Bar' and a more
> sedate 'Off Bar'. It would be noted for it's Pub Grub particularly it's 'All
> day protein free breakfast' and it's Faba bean soup naturally only to be
> eaten outside weather permitting.
>
> There would be frequent jollifications on the village green including wheel
> chair racing and attemps to beat the record for the slowest 100m yard
> sprint. The village stocks would  be revived and unhelpful neurologists
> pelted with rotten fruit.The village elders would discourage computers and
> Internet access to the listserver so that villagers would be distracted from
> participating in the communal life.
>
> Where I mused was this Parkinson paradise? Must be in middle England not far
> from Stratford on Avon right on the tourist route and might it not attract
> flocks of visitors to view the curious inhabitants just like the Amish
> settlements.Suddenly I began to think of the  commercial possibilities and
> the opportunities to raise money for Parkinson research.And then with a
> flash of inspiration I remembered that William Shakespeare was borne in
> Stratford and might it not be possible to proove that he suffered from
> Parkinsons disease.After all scholars studying the texts of his plays had
> come up with all sorts of weird and wonderful theories - that he had not
> written the plays , that he was gay, that he was an extra terrestial being
> etc etct. It might sound
> stupid of me but it was only at this point that I suddenly realized that the
> main clue to the Bard being one of us was in his name William SHAKE spear.As
> we all know there appears to be some hereditary element in the cause of
> Parkinsons.One of his ancestors was no doubt standing spear in line waiting
> to repell an attack by savages from Ireland,Scotland or Wales and his hand
> was shaking not through fear but because the poor guy had early onset
> Parkinsons. His mates would have taunted him 'Look ye there-Will shakes
> spear'And so the name stuck.I am sure there must be some Shakespeare
> scholars on this highly intelligent list who can come up with some
> quotations further proving the point.And maybe John Cottingham could be
> persuaded to write one of his brilliant programmes for searching Shakespeare
> on CD Rom for key words.And if the connection could be shown what an asset
> the Bard would be to the Parkinson cause because he is truly immortal and
> translated into  over 50 languages;worth at least 100 Alis or Billie Grahams.
>
> Whether this flight of fancy came through drug induced hallucinations,or
> indigestion after pigging out on to much cheese after a protein free day, I
> cannot tell but hopefully it has not caused any offence and in the cold
> light of day I have to report that Di has indeed resigned as patron of the
> Parkinson Society .Although the society do not appear to have a village they
> have recently opened a residential home with 19 beds.

What can one say? Profound!?!?! It leaves me thinkin' and grinnin'!!
Excellent piece, David!

SOON!
Gaylon
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