>From: [log in to unmask] (Don Summers)
>Subject: Re: "Caregiver"
>
>>From: [log in to unmask] (Don Summers)
>>Subject: Re: "Caregiver"
>>
>>Christina et al---
>>        I am the marriedd 42+ years to q wife who suffers from Shy-Drager
Syndrome.  Her condition is much advanced and she requires a great deal of care.
>>I am proud to be called her "primary caregiver" because that is exactly
what and who I am!  Certainly I would much rather be able to concentrate on
our relationship as best friends, sexual partners, business partners,
advisors dinner companions, winter bedwarmers etc. but our lives are now at
a different stage.  In our marriage commmittment, "in sickness and in
health" means to me that "caregiving" is not just those nasty chores that I
am now required to do
>>but also all the times that we were able to enjoy together.  Caregiving is
an honorable committment for life!
>>
>>                                        Don Summers
>>                                        [log in to unmask]
>>
>>
>>>Hi Christina
>>>
>>>In message <m0vJ2Lp-000A8eC@zeus> PARKINSN@ listserv.utoronto.ca writes:
>>>> I would like to say how I feel about the word caregiver.  I brought this
>>>> subject up a few years ago when I was a committee member with the
Parkinsons
>>>> society here. My feeling were then, and still are, I hate the word.  I
>>>> consider myself friend, partener, sole mate, love and wife. The word
>>>> caregiver for me, and I can only speak for myself, implies I am just the
>>>> help.
>>>
>>>Do you NOT give care? In the context of your partner's Parkinson's, AND
>>>IN THAT CONTEXT ALONE, I return your question to you - WHAT ARE YOU?
>>>
>>>Yes of course you are all those other things, but those are in the
>>>context of Friendship, (Marriage) Partnership, Mating, Love &
>>>Uxoriousness. But, are you not ALSO, in the context of your own very
>>>special PWP, a Caregiver, or as is more common here in UK, a Carer?
>>>
>>>Why do we have to rail against these trivia? I am a Parkinsonian, a PWP,
>>>a "disabled person". I'm not proud of these labels, but in the context
>>>of my occasional lack of ability, my need occasionally for special
>>>treatment, my inability to work, even my access to this list, they
>>>accurately describe where I am at. I am not proud of them, but neither
>>>am I ashamed of them.
>>>
>>>Politically correct speech and euphemisms are destroying our ability to
>>>communicate. Let us by all means say what we mean. If a black man thinks
>>>of me as a "honky" or whatever, well so be it! I don't have to live with
>>>him. And if I did, well, "sticks & stones may break my bones, but words
>>>will never hurt me".
>>>
>>>> What would be an appropiate word to use in place of this word?  I
>>>> often wonder.
>>>
>>>There isn't one! What pleases you may offend my wife or vice versa.
>>>Let's try to be straightforward, say what we really think, and apologise
>>>if we inadvertantly offend someone.
>>>
>>>To my mind, the only reason for changing a label is if it doesn't carry
>>>the right message. And in the context of multiple sufferers (PWPs) and
>>>their multitude of wives, husbands, lovers, mistresses, sons, friends,
>>>daughters, grandsons or whatever kind soul(s) put(s) up with them and
>>>ease(s) their passage through life, that multitude is reasonably called,
>>>in general, "caregivers". Leave it rest at that, I say. It's what they
>>>(you) DO in common, one and another.
>>>
>>>--
>>>Jeremy Browne, Hampshire, UK
>>>[log in to unmask]
>>>Shaking Hands BBS, Fidonet 2:252/160 (+44 1252 626233, also FAX)
>>>
>>>
>>