DEAR reader,
     This is serious so don't delete me just yet! Many of us see ourselves
as very dependant or totally non-dependant on physicians and other health
care professionals.[Hereafter referred to as HCP] But many of us find it
difficult, nay, impossible to talk in a constructive fashion with these
people who may hold one of the keys to our future. Can you recall being all
choked up when talking with your physician;so much so that you left the
appointment without having said what needed to be said? How many of us have
not spoken honestly with the HCP because we didn't do what they had
suggested previously or because we didn't want to hurt THEIR feelings.
[That's up there with my all time favorites] IF you have a moment some time
would you send me your excuse[s] for not being honest.
.    Let me say at the near begining that not all professionals are able to
form a working partnership or the circumstanses don't permit it[ A
complaint heard with increasing frequency from the managed-care sector.]
And there may well be individuals with whom you may chose not to form a
partnership. Out my way there is a Neurosurgeon with whom I have never
exchanged as much as a hello or been able to meet his eyes in the 25 years
we have worked on the grounds of the same hospital. I really don't believe
that he was being rude but rather it was more like I didn't exist. Nope, no
partnership there.

   SOME IDEAS REGARDING THE DEVELOPMENT OF A PARTNERSHIP WITH OUR
HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS
       #1 Some of us will need an attitude adjustment.By that I mean that
there are relationships in which we see our self as somehow the lessor of
the two.We are not very good or very bright or very understanding of what
the professional has to say or much too sick to reason or what ever. We do
not see ourselves in a position to even question what some expert is saying
to us.What we need to do is to insist on being treated with
respect/dignity/compassion and clinical and human competence. And this will
not come our way until we see ourselves as deserving of such and insist on
it as a condition of consulting with a HCP

      #2 Be prepared to answer a question with an honest response. The best
of the HCP can't help you if you knowingly mis-state or avoid answering a
reasonable question. They must have accurate information. If you don't know
something say so.There is no shame in not knowing. You can always say that
you will think about the questions and drop them a note or call them when
you have the answer. One of the nice things about a partnership is that
there is no place for shame.
     #3 Be prepared to ask questions.The interview is a two way street and
how is some HCP to know what is on your mind unless you ask questions. I
find it helpful to write down the questions in advance. WIth those HCP who
I know are running a tight schedule I type out my answers to what questions
I think they will be asking me and list my questions. Usually I find that
since I took the time they will take the time and read my summary in
advance ;leaving the allotted time for give and take.
    SOME SMALL POINTS
  ON the sheet you have noted your questions leave space between questions
for the answers
  Always take a clipboard with you so that you will have a solid surface to
write on.
  If you are not up to a lengthy conversation take along some one who can
speak for you but do as much talking for your self as you can.
  If you have trouble talking or hearing take along a tape recorder with
your pre-recorded progress report; or as your ears. It is a lot easier to
hear when you are back home and you can check on what you thought the HCP
said. But you are still responsable for your participation in the
interview.
Most HCP would be OK with a recorder.If in doubt ask but how could someone
argue with your having accurate instructions?
     #4 Try and get to know your HCP by researching their professional
backgrounds. Most professional groups put out some kind of a directory
which can be found in most libraries and on the Internet.In Massachusetts
there is a number which you may call to find out if a physician has any
history of lawsuits.Again most professional organizations will make that
information known to someone who has a need to know.
     And MOST IMPORANTLY you have the right to ask any HCP any reasonable
question.In a HCP rich city /town etc, if you don't care for one you  can
find another. But if the HCP is the only game in town then you have a real
problem; one which I would like to take a look at in another posting. If
you have any thoughts about that particular problem maybe we can develop
some "How To" manual assuming that one doesn't already exist some where in
our archives

        The above noted thoughts on developing a partnership with your HCP
will work in any setting including as an inpatient.I know. I've done it. My
thoughts on this matter have evolved over the years both in the role of a
patient and as a HCP and represent a fraction of what might be said if you
believe a partnership may be possible with your HCP. Any ideas?
       And don't forget to send me your excuse[s] for not being  honest
with your HCP. Via digest is fine unless you prefer to keep the information
private. You can trust me on that. Believe me. yes sir.
      By the way there is no truth to the rumor that Jack Savely has moved
to Colebrook, N.H.[Wink]
Personally I believed that he did move to Buffalo, N.Y. but I can't talk
about it so don't ask. OK?

 My Very Best
   george
      AGANCE

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