On Thu, 8 May 1997 21:00:26 -0400 (EDT) Valerie wrote:
>Dear Camilla,
>right now.  My parent's beloved dog Binga had to be put to sleep yesterday.
> It all happened so suddenly.  Our dog only showed symptoms of being sick the
>day before.  When I came home from work, my mother told me to check on the
>dog.  I agreed that Binga needed to go to the vet--my mother
SNIPPED
>was up every hour around the clock all night trying to nurse her into better
>health.  The poor dog tried her best to respond, but it was obvious she
>needed more care.  I promised my mother that no matter what happened at the
>vet's, that I would bring Binga home before proceeding further.  I was away
>for over two hours.  When I came back with the dog, my mother was looking so
>hopeful, but I had to break the sad news that Binga needed an immediate
>operation.  A large tumor was growing inside of her and it was 50/50 whether
>she would get through it.  I said that I had to take her back right away to
>see if they could save her.  My parents got ready right away and we all made
>the journey to the vet again together.  My mother could hardly see through
>her tears.  She only got about ten minutes with Binga before they
>anesthetized her and wheeled her away for the operation.  We waited with as
>much hope as possible, but to no avail.  Within twenty minutes, they called
>us in and told us the news.  I went over to see the operation in progress
>while mom and dad talked with the surgeons from the doorway to spare the
>traumatic sight.  The tumor was the size of a melon, malignant and growing
>from Binga's spleen.  Her spleen had ruptured as a result and there was some
>internal bleeding.  The good news was that there was no infection or further
>spreading yet, and Binga had the will to want to respond and go on.  The bad
>news was that they couldn't contain the cancer and said that it would surely
>spread to all her other organs.  The surgeons couldn't givtime frame
>     SNIPPED                                          Mother decided to have
>her put to sleep to spare Binga any pain or suffering that would surely come
>in the future.  I sheltered them from seeing the graphic nature of the
>operation in progress, and Mom and Dad came over to kiss Binga goodbye.
> My parents and I have cried buckets since then.  We all miss Binga terribly.
> She was my parents' constant companion and even more so for my mother since
>my father began to lose his capacity for memory.  My mother has gone into a
>state of depression and lonliness of which I pray she will slowly recover,
>but it is of course worse because of her Parkinsons.  Her shaking has also
>greatly worsened because of this trauma and a few dyskenisias have popped up
>for the first time.  I hope this is only temporary.  She has confessed to me
>thoughts of not knowing if she really wants to go on living much longer.
SNIPPED
>while this is extremely difficult on all of us, it is especially deeply
>sorrowful for my mother.  Binga lived 10 years and 3 months.  She was a very
>sweet-tempered, gentle medium/large dog; a mixture of Bernese mountain dog
>with white paws, brown "socks," and a black sleek body.  She always went out
>of her way to please us in every way possible and she will always be loved
>and missed far more than words will ever be able to convey.
>
>The reason I am writing you all this is to ask you if you could perhaps take
>at least part of what I've written and forward it to the list(s) in the hope
>that this may solicit some kind words and thoughts from current and former
>pet owners on the list(s) in similar circumstances so that my mother will
>know she is not alone in her grief.  I think it would do her much good to
>know that there are others out there who cherish their "children in fur
>coats," that can empathize with what she's going through and may be willing
>to take a few moments to lend their support.  I am doing everything I can to
>be with her, hold her close when she cries, listen and share with her, and
>see that she's eating right, taking her medications and getting some rest
>when she's overcome with emotion to the point of exhaustion.  Nothing can
>ever replace the loss of a loved one, but there are things that can help ease
>the pain.  That's all I'm asking because it's very difficult to see my mother
>in such anguish.  It makes me want to try any avenue that could bring her
>some comfort.  It would also be valuable to know if anyone out there was
>eventually able to come to the decision of wanting to get another pet.  My
>mother is 76 and now, in her sorrow, she says that she doesn't want to get
>another dog because of the tremendous amount of hurt involved when it's their
>time to go.  She doesn't think she could survive that again.  I certainly
>don't want to suggest anything to her that will cause her more pain and it's
>far too soon to be thinking about that, but I do know that Binga was an
>excellent source of companionship and comfort to her, and that if my mother
>can find the will to be resilient in some way, she may find it within her to
>love another dog with a different but similar personality some day.  Maybe
>there are some contributors out there who could share some advice about
>"bouncing back" at the age of 70+ years.  Anyone desiring to write my mother
>and I could contact me directly at my e-mail address of [log in to unmask]
>


Friends-- this story touched my heart, as we have had similar experiences.
I hope there are others who will write to Val, as I've done offlist, to
comfort her mother. PD is bad enough without this kind of loss!

Camilla Flintermann, CG for Peter, 78/7, Oxford,Ohio
[log in to unmask]
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"Ask me about the CARE list for PD caregivers!"
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