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Hi you all,
I enjoyed the enclosed humor. Hope you do too.
Love,
Arlene ([log in to unmask])
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Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 10:43:04 -0400
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From: [log in to unmask] (Margaret Bezares)
Subject: FW: Epitaphs
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> >
> > Epitaphs from real tombstones:
> >
> > On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova
> Scotia:
> > Here lies
> > Ezekial Aikle
> > Age 102
> > The Good
> > Die Young.
> >
> > In a London, England cemetery:
> > Ann Mann
> > Here lies Ann Mann,
> > Who lived an old maid
> > But died an old Mann.
> > Dec. 8, 1767
> >
> > In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
> > Anna Wallace
> > The children of Israel wanted bread
> > And the Lord sent them manna,
> > Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
> > And the Devil sent him Anna.
> >
> > Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
> > Here lies
> > Johnny Yeast
> > Pardon me
> > For not rising.
> >
> > Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
> > Here lies the body
> > of Jonathan Blake
> > Stepped on the gas
> > Instead of the brake.
> >
> > In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
> > Here lays Butch,
> > We planted him raw.
> > He was quick on the trigger,
> > But slow on the draw.
> >
> > A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
> > Sacred to the memory of
> > my husband John Barnes
> > who died January 3, 1803
> > His comely young widow, aged 23, has
> > many qualifications of a good wife, and
> > yearns to be comforted.
> >
> > A lawyer's epitaph in England:
> > Sir John Strange
> > Here lies an honest lawyer,
> > And that is Strange.
> >
> > Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
> > I was somebody.
> > Who, is no business
> > Of yours.
> >
> > Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona
> > in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill
> > Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
> > Here lies Lester Moore
> > Four slugs from a .44
> > No Les No More.
> >
> > In a Georgia cemetery:
> > "I told you I was sick!"
> >
> > John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
> > Reader if cash thou art
> > In want of any
> > Dig 4 feet deep
> > And thou wilt find a Penny.
> >
> > On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery, Richmond, Virginia:
> > She always said her feet were killing her
> > but nobody believed her.
> >
> > In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
> > On the 22nd of June
> > - Jonathan Fiddle -
> > Went out of tune.
> >
> > Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph
> > that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
> > Here lies the body of our Anna
> > Done to death by a banana
> > It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
> > But the skin of the thing that made her go.
> >
> > More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
> > Gone away
> > Owin' more
> > Than he could pay.
> >
> > Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
> > In Memory of Beza Wood
> > Departed this life
> > Nov. 2, 1837
> > Aged 45 yrs.
> > Here lies one Wood
> > Enclosed in wood
> > One Wood
> > Within another.
> > The outer wood
> > Is very good:
> > We cannot praise
> > The other.
> >
> > On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
> > Under the sod and under the trees
> > Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
> > He is not here, there's only the pod:
> > Pease shelled out and went to God.
> >
> > The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a
> > consumer tip:
> > Who was fatally burned
> > March 21, 1870
> > by the explosion of a lamp
> > filled with "R.E. Danforth's
> > Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"
> >
> > Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
> > Born 1903--Died 1942
> > Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
> > the car was on the way down. It was.
> >
> > In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
> > Here lies an Atheist
> > All dressed up
> > And no place to go.
> >
> > But does he make house calls? Dr. Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas:
> > Office upstairs
> >
> > Philip Hall
> > Dell Computer Corporation
> > ASG, LCA TSR
> > Voice: 1-800-279-3355 ext-80005
> > Pager: 1-800-467-3700 Pin#143-3772
> > [log in to unmask]
> >
> > For information on our award winning servers:
> > Dell Server Site - http://www.dell.com/products/powredge/index.htm
> > 6300 Review (PCWeek) -
> > http://www8.zdnet.com/pcweek/reviews/0629/29dell.html
> > 2300 Review (LanTimes) -
> > http://www.lantimes.com/testing/98may/805a028b.html
> > Gartner Server Ratings -
> >
> http://www.gartnerweb.com/public/static/datapro/industry/indnews7.html
>
> > 6300 Review (PC Magazine) -
> > http://www.zdnet.com/products/content/pcmg/1714/333937.html
> > Dell Servers Drive NASDAQ - http://www.nasdaq.com/help/aboutsite.stm
> > 6300 Benchmarks (PC Magazine) -
> > http://www.zdnet.com/pcmag/firstlooks/9806/f980629a1.htm
> >
> >
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