> From actual military "squawk sheets".
>
> (Squawk sheets are maintenance forms filed by the flight crews to
> inform the maintenance crews of problems with the aircraft. The
> maintenance crews then put their action or disposition of the squawk
> on the sheet and return it to the flight crews)
>
> Problem:  "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
>
             Solution:  "Almost replaced left inside main tire."


> Problem:  "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
>
             Solution:  "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."


> Problem #1:  "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
>
             Solution #1:  "#2 Propeller seepage normal."

             Problem #2:  "#1,#3, and #4 propellers lack normal
seepage."


> Problem:  "The autopilot doesn't."
>
             Signed off:  "IT DOES NOW."


> Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
>
             Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."


> Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
>
             Solution: "Evidence removed."


> Problem: "Number three engine missing."
>
             Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."


> Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
>
             Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."


> Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
>
             Solution: Live bugs on order.


> Problem: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
>
             Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


> Problem: IFF inoperative. (Identification Friend or Foe)
>
             Solution: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.


> Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
>
             Solution: That's what they're there for.



J. Darwin Hawkins (59/3)
767 AWACS Test Engineering
Phone: (316) 523-2804
Fax:      (316) 526-2855
Work E-Mail:   [log in to unmask]
Home E-Mail:  [log in to unmask]