I would like to play the part of Kenneth of Starr. Anyone interested in
King Leer, The Duke of McCurry, Witch Tripp, the Messenger, the Courier,
Geraldo of Rivera (a non-speaking part) - or Buddy?

We could present this as a PD fundraiser.... I don't know if the plot is
very believable, tho. Who could ever imagine a King would..............
well, read the play!


-----Original Message-----
From: Bruce Anderson <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Friday, October 02, 1998 12:20 PM
Subject: Shakespeare and Clinton


> THE TRAGIC COMEDIE OF KING LEER
>
> Scene 1. A forest glen.
> Enter Witch Tripp and Kenneth of Starr.
>
>
>
> Witch Tripp:
> Double, double, Webster Hubbell,
> I think I got the Creep in trouble.
> Eye of Newt, strap of bra,
> Could it be he broke some law?
> Praise this broth utmost ephemeral,
> Heavens! I left out my Essence of Emeril!
> Hark! Who trespasses so near?
>
> Kenneth of Starr:
> 'Tis I, the Inquisitor. What news?
> Witch Tripp:
> Things proceed with quickening speed, m'lord. The maiden
> Lewinsky, so
> deeply embroil'd, is now join'd by the Lady
> Willey in like pursuit. Daily tightens the noose around the
> king.
> Starr:
> Would that it were so, but he hath good counsel, and more
> moves
> than a
> chess board. His public, well pleas'd with good
> news of the economie, doth o'erlook much.
>
> Witch Tripp:
> How may I serve you next?
>
> Starr:
> I have need of acts damnable and facts verifiable. Else he may
> elude
> me yet.
> Witch Tripp:
> His dog Buddy, freshly neuter'd, may bear his master harsh
> reproach. He may consent to wearing a collar of our
> invention, to survey the king at his ease. Dogs are much
> accustom'd to insects. What's one more bug?
>
> Starr:
> Good hag, I rely on you completely. I must away. (Exeunt
>Tripp and Starr)
>
> Scene 2. The king's antechamber
>
> Duke of McCurry:
> My Lord! I needs must speak with you most urgently! The castle
> is assaulted on all sides!
> Leer:
> What would I not give for an hour's peace!
> McCurry:
> An army of reporters is settled at thy gate. They are press in
> name and press in deed, for they press me daily, nay,
> hourly for some explanation from thy lips.
>
> Leer:
> Who is there among them?
>
> McCurry: Lords Jennings, Brokaw, Rather, Geraldo of Rivera,
>and a host
> of others. Methinks I spied the van from Hard Copy.
>
> Leer:
> You cut me to the quick. Do they not know that I am chaste?
>
> McCurry:
> They insinuate that thou hast chased too often.
>
> Leer:
> Never have lies been so artfully stack'd against a pure soul.
> Where is Lady Hillary?
>
> McCurry:
> Her secretary doth report that she is lock'd in her bath,
>saying
> over and over, "Why can I not wash my hands of this guy?"
> Leer: Oh cursed fate! I must be the most solitary mortal in
>all
> creation. Never have I betrayed m'lady's trust.
>
> McCurry: (shrugging)
> Whatever.
>
> (Enter Messenger)
>
> Messenger:
> Good king, steel thy nerve. I bring a missive from Kenneth of
> Starr, the Grand Inquisitor.
>
> Leer:
> Was ever a man as Starr-cross'd as I? Why does this man
> conspire
> to afflict me thus? My hand is unsteady. Read it to me.
>
> Messenger:
> Let me see. He offers you his regards, blah, blah, blah, then
> doth subpoena you to appear at his chamber at Friday
> next, to forswear again that thou tookst no liberties with
>the
> Jones wench, who withdraweth not her claims against you.
>
> Leer:
> I have already so sworn!
>
> McCurry:
> It would seem, m'lord, that the woeful tale ofLady Willey
> rekindles old flames.
>
> Leer:
> I kiss'd the woman on the forehead, as a sign of my regard.
> Never was a king so expos'd!
>
> McCurry:
> Truer words were ne'er spoken.
>
> Leer:
> I cannot think on't further. Leave me to my own counsel.
>
> (Exeunt Messenger and McCurry)
>
> Leer:
> To be forthright, or not to be forthright, that is the
> question.
> Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and
> arrows of outrageous fortune, or just bag the whole
> thing and teach law at a junior college.
>
> (Enter Courtier)
>
> Courtier:
> My liege, you are late for an appointed meeting.
>
> Leer:
> What's this?
>
> Courtier:
> You were to interview a new assistant at the stroke of two.
> She
> seems most capable, and with rare intellect
> for one so young and fair.
>
> Leer:
> Well, tell her I will see her anon, and on, and on.
>
> Courtier:
> A most clever jest, my king.
> Leer:
> Let us not tarry further.
>
> (Exeunt Leer and courtier. Enter Buddy, from behind a chair)
>
> Buddy:
> So dearest reader, I bid adieu. Me seeth I have much to do.
> And so it comes to this pretty pass, To see if the king doth
> get
> some ass!
>
>