I would like to play the part of Kenneth of Starr.  Anyone interested in
King Leer, The Duke of McCurry, Witch Tripp, the Messenger, the Courier,
Geraldo of Rivera (a non-speaking part)  -  or Buddy?

We could present this as a PD fundraiser....  I don't know if the plot is
very believable, tho.  Who  could ever imagine a King would..............
well, read the play!


-----Original Message-----
From: Bruce Anderson <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Friday, October 02, 1998 12:20 PM
Subject: Shakespeare and Clinton


>      THE TRAGIC COMEDIE OF KING LEER
>
>      Scene 1. A forest glen.
>      Enter Witch Tripp and Kenneth of Starr.
>
>
>
>      Witch Tripp:
>           Double, double, Webster Hubbell,
>           I think I got the Creep in trouble.
>           Eye of Newt, strap of bra,
>           Could it be he broke some law?
>           Praise this broth utmost ephemeral,
>           Heavens! I left out my Essence of Emeril!
>           Hark! Who trespasses so near?
>
>      Kenneth of Starr:
>            'Tis I, the Inquisitor. What news?
>      Witch Tripp:
>           Things proceed with quickening speed, m'lord. The maiden
>            Lewinsky, so
>           deeply embroil'd, is now join'd by the Lady
>           Willey in like pursuit. Daily tightens the noose around the
>           king.
>      Starr:
>           Would that it were so, but he hath good counsel, and more
>           moves
>           than a
>           chess board. His public, well pleas'd with good
>           news of the economie, doth o'erlook much.
>
>      Witch Tripp:
>           How may I serve you next?
>
>      Starr:
>           I have need of acts damnable and facts verifiable. Else he may
>     elude
>           me yet.
>      Witch Tripp:
>          His dog Buddy, freshly neuter'd, may bear his master harsh
>          reproach.  He may consent to wearing a collar of our
>           invention, to survey the king at his ease. Dogs are much
>  accustom'd to  insects. What's one more bug?
>
>      Starr:
>           Good hag, I rely on you completely. I must away.      (Exeunt
>Tripp and Starr)
>
>     Scene 2. The king's antechamber
>
>      Duke of McCurry:
>           My Lord! I needs must speak with you most urgently! The castle
>          is  assaulted on all sides!
>      Leer:
>           What would I not give for an hour's peace!
>      McCurry:
>           An army of reporters is settled at thy gate. They are press in
>           name  and press in deed, for they press me daily, nay,
>           hourly for some explanation from thy lips.
>
>      Leer:
>           Who is there among them?
>
>      McCurry:           Lords Jennings, Brokaw, Rather, Geraldo of Rivera,
>and a host
>               of others. Methinks I spied the van from Hard Copy.
>
>      Leer:
>           You cut me to the quick. Do they not know that I am chaste?
>
>      McCurry:
>           They insinuate that thou hast chased too often.
>
>      Leer:
>           Never have lies been so artfully stack'd against a pure soul.
>          Where  is Lady Hillary?
>
>      McCurry:
>           Her secretary doth report that she is lock'd in her bath,
>saying
>           over  and over, "Why can I not wash my hands of this  guy?"
>      Leer:          Oh cursed fate! I must be the most solitary mortal in
>all
>           creation.  Never have I betrayed m'lady's trust.
>
>      McCurry: (shrugging)
>           Whatever.
>
>      (Enter Messenger)
>
>      Messenger:
>           Good king, steel thy nerve. I bring a missive from Kenneth of
>             Starr,  the Grand Inquisitor.
>
>      Leer:
>           Was ever a man as Starr-cross'd as I? Why does this man
> conspire
>           to  afflict me thus? My hand is unsteady. Read it to me.
>
>      Messenger:
>           Let me see. He offers you his regards, blah, blah, blah, then
>          doth subpoena you to appear at his chamber at Friday
>           next, to forswear again that thou tookst no liberties with
>the
>          Jones wench, who withdraweth not her claims against you.
>
>      Leer:
>           I have already so sworn!
>
>      McCurry:
>           It would seem, m'lord, that the woeful tale ofLady Willey
>           rekindles old flames.
>
>      Leer:
>           I kiss'd the woman on the forehead, as a sign of my regard.
>           Never was  a king so expos'd!
>
>      McCurry:
>           Truer words were ne'er spoken.
>
>      Leer:
>           I cannot think on't further. Leave me to my own counsel.
>
>      (Exeunt Messenger and McCurry)
>
>      Leer:
>           To be forthright, or not to be forthright, that is the
> question.
>           Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and
>           arrows of outrageous fortune, or just bag the whole
>           thing and teach law at a junior college.
>
>      (Enter Courtier)
>
>      Courtier:
>           My liege, you are late for an appointed meeting.
>
>      Leer:
>           What's this?
>
>      Courtier:
>           You were to interview a new assistant at the stroke of two.
> She
>           seems most capable, and with rare intellect
>           for one so young and fair.
>
>      Leer:
>           Well, tell her I will see her anon, and on, and on.
>
>      Courtier:
>           A most clever jest, my king.
>      Leer:
>           Let us not tarry further.
>
>     (Exeunt Leer and courtier. Enter Buddy, from behind a chair)
>
>      Buddy:
>           So dearest reader, I bid adieu. Me seeth I have much to do.
>           And so it comes to this pretty pass, To see if the king doth
> get
>          some ass!
>
>