OK, Darwin, you asked for it.........
A POLICE REPORT
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've
stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the
accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could
start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line.
"Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
=================
THE BLONDE STEWARDESS
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde
stewardess; the route they were flying had a stay-over in another
city.
Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place
for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next
morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he
noticed the new stewardess was missing.
He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up
wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying,
and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your
room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There
are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one
is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says "Do Not Disturb'!
===================
THE JOB INTERVIEW
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all tried out for the same job as
road stripers. The boss told them they would all work for three days
and whoever painted the most would get the job.
At the end of the first day, the redhead had painted 3 miles, the
brunette had painted 2.5 miles, and the blond had painted 10 miles .
The boss was so excited he told the blonde to keep it up and the job
was hers.
The next day the red head painted 5 miles, the brunette 5.6 miles,
and
the blonde 4 miles. He told the blonde not to worry you still have a
good lead.
So, on the third day the redhead had painted 6 miles, the brunette 5
miles, and the blonde only one mile. The boss was so disappointed,
he asked the blonde, "What went wrong, you were doing so good?" She
said, "Well, that bucket of paint keeps getting further and further
away."
==============
A blonde woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object,
she asks, "What is that?"
The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos."
The blonde then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
So she buys one.
The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also a
blonde, asks, "What is that shiny object?"
She replies "It's a thermos."
He asks, "What does it do?"
She says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
He then asks, "What do you have in there?"
"Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."
----------------------
BLONDES!
That Girl was so Blonde :
She sent me a Fax with a stamp on it
She thought a quarterback was a refund
She tried to put M & M's in alphabetical order
She tripped over a cordless phone
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make
up her mind
She told me to meet her at the corner of " Walk and Don't walk "
They had to burn the school-house down to get her out of third
grade
She took a ruler to bed with her to see how long she slept
At the bottom of the application where it says " sign here " she
put Sagittarius
When she heard that 90 % of all crimes occur around the home-
she moved
When she took me to the airport and saw the sign that said
" Airport Left " she turned around and went home
Hear about the Blonde that bought an A M Radio ? It took her a
month to realize she could play it at night
Why do Blondes like lightning ? They think someone is taking
their picture .
Why did the Blonde scale the chain-link fence ? To see what
was on the other side
How do you get a Blonde to laugh at a joke on Saturday ?
Tell her the joke on Wednesday
------------------------------
Ben McKeen
That's all folks
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