Bruce, this is for you.  I agree we need some nonsense now and then.

> If Dr. Seuss wrote computer instructions.
>
> COMMUNICATIONS ERROR
> If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
> and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
> and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
> then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
>
> ILLEGAL OPERATION
> If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
> and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
> and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
> then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
>
> NETWORK ERROR
> If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
> says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
> but your packets want to tunnel on another protocall,
> that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
> and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
> so your icons in the window are as wavey as a sause,
> then you may as well reboot it and then exit with a bang,
> 'cause as sure as I'm a poet, man, that sucker's gonna hang!
>
> WRITE ERROR
> When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
> and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
> then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
> and quickly turn computer off, and then go tell your mom!
>
>
>
>
> ----------
> From:         Bruce Anderson[SMTP:[log in to unmask]]
> Reply To:     Bruce Anderson
> Sent:         Tuesday, February 09, 1999 1:04 AM
> To:   [log in to unmask]
> Subject:      Diligence
>
> Are there any other 3+ year members left around here who think that
> this
> list has gotten a bit BORING?  All the bizzarity [I made that word up]
> gets
> filtered out so quickly that no one tries anymore.  And I'm not
> talking just
> the jokes [although they are mostly gone too]. There was a guy named
> David
> Boots who went away about 3 year to get a pallidotomy or something &
> never
> came back. I have heard from him a couple of times.  He used to offer
> up all
> kinds of creatively great spoofs & satire. It was often pretty pointed
> humor
> but always fun.  Occasionally someone would get bent out of shape by
> something he wrote but that was always just thin skin showing through.
> Now
> such humor can't appear - were too diligent!
>