Dateline:  Parkinsaw, MI:  A View from the Lighter Side of PD, May 23,
1999

A hearty greeting to all our special friends and neighbors who have
visited here before, and a warm welcome to those newcomers visiting for
the first time.  Parkinsaw, MI is an imaginary community for individuals
stricken with Parkinson's Disease (PD).  It's a fun place to spend some
time in when the reality of life gets you down.

This week marked the opening of walleye season here in the Upper
Peninsula, and by AM the bay was peppered with fishing craft of all
makes and models, but mostly of the expensive, sophisticated variety,
all in search of one of the finest tasting fish in the world.   I'm sure
several Parkinsonian fishermen were using  Tom Shelton's Bait Buddy, to
keep their minnows from being shaken off their hooks.  (Some diehards
still use minnows no matter how early the season.  Most use crawlers and
leeches this early)  Around these parts, the opening days of deer season
and walleye season are anxiously awaited and taken seriously.   As I sat
above the calm waters of the misty lake, the fishing boats clustered in
the hot spot of the morning, I could imagine several hundred years ago
when the Chippawa Indians fished these waters in their birch bark
canoes.  Did that great tribe numbering in the thousands with their
rudimentary customs suffer the ravages of Parkinson's Disease?   Did
Indian braves have names like "Quivering Hands" or "Trembling Body"?
How did the medicine men handle the disease?  "Here, 'Stiff-Like-Stick',
take these acorns and fish innards and see me in the morning."  Although
we'll probably never know for sure, my bet is that PD is still another
reminder of the downsides of our industrial development.

Do you remember Elmer Larson, the man who connected probes to a tree,
fed them into an amplifier, and then connected the output to a modified
hairdryer hood, on the theory of harnessing nature's healing energy to
cure his Parkinson's as it flowed from the tree roots to the leaves?
The story is he sat under the hood for an entire weekend with no
improvement in his condition.  Monday morning, however, he awoke to find
small buds growing out of his ears.  After snipping them out, he was
lying in the hammock reading the Parkinsaw Gazette, fell asleep, and
when he awoke, discovered a robin has started to build a nest right in
the middle of his bushy head of hair.  He's also extra thirsty, has a
craving for leafy vegetables, and has noticed a squirrel eyeing him
strangely.

The Parkinson Pig, official mascot for the Thousand Pennies for
Parkinson's fund drive, welcomes the opportunity to extend a fond
"Howdy-Doody" to the newest piglet on the block, da-da (drum beats and
trumpets): Porky Porkinson.  Here's a little poem to honor the little
guy:  "Porky Porkinson plans to pick a pretty plentiful peck of Pennies
for Parkinson's, a prosperous plethora of Parkinson's pennies Porky
Porkinson plans to pick, provided pampered, proper Porky produces
prosperous pounds of Pennies for Parkinson's, Porky Porkinson will
probably be placated and placed properly in priority position as
Parkinson's premier panhandler."  Way to go Porky!  This could be the
start of something Pig!  Support Porky Porkinson!  "If I'm elected, I
promise a pig in every pot, er, well, I mean..."

The local PD support group, the Shuffler's and Shaker's, are working
with the Chamber of Commerce to identify jobs which might not be
suitable for those with PD.  This months list includes:  Printed circuit
board assembly and repair specialist; barber or hair stylist; nuclear
missile launch officer; welder; bartender; manicurist; dental hygienist;
drummer in a band; butcher; fill-in the numbers artist; circumcision
specialist; and high voltage electric power specialist.

A gentleman came to town the other day, to inquire about entering the
Parka-thon over the Fourth of July.  I noticed that he had a pig on a
leash with him, and the pig had a wooden leg.  So, I asked why his pig
had a wooden leg.  He replied that this was truly a special pig. Why,
just the other day there was a destructive fire in the barn, and Roscoe
managed to get all the horses out of the barn in time to save their
lives.  "Is that how the pig got his wooden leg?"  The man said that no,
he already had had the wooden leg.  The man continued to explain that
two weeks ago Roscoe had been riding in his daughter's car when it spun
out of control going too fast around a curve, and ended up down an
embankment.  Roscoe, wooden leg and all, went for help, which arrived
just in time to save his daughters life.  I said. "So the pig already
had the wooden leg?"  The man replied he did, and further explained that
a month ago that he had been in another town, a man tried to rob him and
Roscoe threw himself at the would-be mugger thereby allowing them both
to escape.  "Then,"  I asked, "How did the pig get his wooden leg?"
"Well," the man explained, "When you have a pig as special as this one
you have to eat him a little at a time."

Well, everyone, that's about it from the beautiful Upper Peninsula of
Michigan.  The deer are starting to come out of the jack pine, and the
fishing boats are heading home.  If you enjoy these stories, please go
to our web site at www.mikeauldridge.com/parknsaw.htm, and make a
contribution of One Thousand Pennies for Parkinson's Disease Research.
In the meantime, I'll be at the Northern Lights having a Levolager
brewski.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOTE:  The following was extracted from a message posted by Ken
Aikerman, May 23, 99.  It is re-printed here, in part,  for information
purposes.  This is a great project;  here are some things you can do to
support the activities:

Check out the Parkinson’s Power Across America website:
www.parkinsonspower.org to find out more about the trip.

Find out when the PPAA athletes will be in a town near you by calling
Patricia Arroyo at PDF’s toll-free line: 800-457-6676
or fax her a message at 212-923-4778.

Bring a sign and wave encouragement along the route.

They are in eastern Pennsylvania today, May 23rd.  They’ll be crossing
the rest of Pennsylvania, northern Ohio and Indiana on their way to a
major event in Chicago on June 6th.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Remember, for those of you with PD, don't you dare let it rob you of
God's Gift to you of your smile, laugh and sense of humor.  Smiles and
laughter are the best medicines.

John Bjork