Patrick Douglas Crispen wrote:
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> TODAY'S TOURBUS STOP(S): Crispen's *Five* Anti-Virus Rules
>
> Howdy, y'all, and greetings from sunny Alabama!
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> On with the show ...
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> ------------------------------
> Crispen's Five Antivirus Rules
> ------------------------------
>
> In light of the recent Melissa and WormExplore.Zip virus outbreaks, I
> decided to rewrite my rules on how to protect yourself from computer
> viruses, Trojan horses, or worms.  Regardless of your operating
> system, these five rules will protect you from most of the over FORTY
> THOUSAND viruses that are currently floating around the Net.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 1. PURCHASE A GOOD, COMMERCIAL ANTIVIRUS PROGRAM LIKE NORTON
>         ANTIVIRUS OR MCAFEE VIRUSSCAN.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>         Most commercial antivurus programs usually cost between US$40
>         and US$50 and can be purchased at almost any computer store in
>         the world.  [You can usually save about US$10 if you purchase
>         the software online -- visit http://www.shopper.com/ for more
>         information].
>
>         Antivirus program manufacturers also release minor upgrades
>         every two to three months and major upgrades every twelve to
>         eighteen months.  YOU NEED THESE UPGRADES.  Minor upgrades are
>         usually free, and major upgrades usually cost anywhere between
>         US$20 and US$40, depending on the manufacturer [think of this
>         as an expected expense -- just as you have to change your
>         car's oil every 3,000 miles, you have to upgrade your
>         antivirus software every year to year-and-a-half].
>
>         To see if any minor or major upgrades are available for your
>         antivirus program, visit your antivirus program manufacturer's
>         homepage.  A list of antivirus manufacturers' homepages can be
>         found at http://www.yahoo.com/ or at AOL keyword "virus."
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>      2. UPDATE YOUR VIRUS DEFINITIONS FREQUENTLY (AT LEAST ONCE A
>         WEEK).
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>         With over 250 new viruses being discovered each week, if you
>         don't update your definitions frequently you won't be
>         protected from ANY of the new viruses floating around the Net.
>
>         How do you update your virus definitions?  That depends on
>         the antivirus program you use.  Norton Antivirus has a "Live
>         Update" button built into the program; click on it, and Norton
>         automatically downloads and installs the latest virus
>         definitions from Net.  McAfee VirusScan has a similar update
>         function (go to File --> Update VirusScan).
>
>         If you are unsure of how to update your virus definitions,
>         visit the homepage of your antivirus software manufacturer and
>         look for their "download," "update," or "technical support"
>         section.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>      3. NEVER DOUBLE-CLICK (OR LAUNCH) *ANY* FILE, ESPECIALLY AN EMAIL
>         ATTACHMENT, REGARDLESS OF WHO THE FILE IS FROM, UNTIL YOU
>         FIRST SCAN THAT FILE WITH YOUR ANTIVIRUS PROGRAM.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>         This is probably the most important rule of them all.  There
>         are currently over forty thousand viruses out there, there are
>         over 2.8 trillion possible files names out there, and any one
>         of those viruses could be hiding in any one of those file
>         names.  A lot of people think that you can protect yourself
>         from a computer virus by being on the lookout for one
>         particular virus or one particular file name (hence all of the
>         virus warnings you have received in your email inbox lately).
>         That's not only silly, that's dangerous.  If you want to
>         protect your computer from viruses, you need to ignore ALL of
>         the virus warnings you receive and instead beware of EVERY
>         file you see, especially every file that is attached to an
>         email message.
>
>         It is important to note that, despite all of the warnings to
>         the contrary, there is no such thing as an email virus.  You
>         can open your emails, regardless of their subject lines,
>         without fear of infecting your computer, provided your email
>         program doesn't automatically open attachments (most don't) .
>         It is the files that are ATTACHED to emails that you have to
>         fear.
>
>         Think of a computer virus as a well-packaged letter bomb.  You
>         can move a letter bomb from room to room in your house without
>         any danger.  Open the letter bomb, however, and you die.  The
>         same is true with computer viruses.  You could download a
>         billion virus-infected files from the Internet and receive
>         another billion virus-infected files attached to email
>         messages and your computer still wouldn't be infected with a
>         virus.  Open just ONE of those files, though, and your
>         computer is dead.  Remember, to infect your computer with a
>         virus, you have to launch (or double-click on) a file that
>         contains a virus.  As long as you don't launch that file, you
>         really have nothing to fear.
>
>         How can you scan a file for viruses?  It depends on the
>         antivirus program you use.  The best bet is to read your
>         antivirus program's instructions or read their online help
>         section.  If you use Norton Antivirus or McAfee VirusScan,
>         right-click (or, if you have a Mac, click and hold) on the
>         file in question.  A pop-up menu should appear, and one of the
>         choices should be "Scan with ..." and the name of your
>         antivirus program.  If that doesn't work, just open your
>         antivirus program and try to scan the file from there.
>
>         Do you have to scan EVERY file, even if that file is from your
>         friends or coworkers?  Yes!  Both the Melissa and the
>         WormExplore.Zip viruses distributed themselves by opening your
>         email program, looking at either your 'friends' list or the
>         list of email addresses in your inbox, and then distributing
>         virus-infected files to everyone on that list.
>
>         In the world of computer viruses, you can't trust anyone.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>      4. TURN ON MACRO VIRUS PROTECTION IN MICROSOFT WORD, AND BEWARE
>         OF ALL WORD MACROS, ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT MACROS
>         ARE.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>         Word Macros are saved sequences of commands or keyboard
>         strokes that can be stored and then recalled with a single
>         command or keyboard stroke.  They enable advanced Word users
>         to easily accomplish what would otherwise be difficult tasks.
>         They also allow virus writers to do serious damage to your
>         computer.  For example, the Melissa virus was actually a Word
>         Macro virus.
>
>         If you use Word 97, go to Tools --> Options.  Click on the
>         "General" tab.  Make sure that "Macro virus protection" (at
>         the bottom of the list) is checked.
>
>         If you use Word 2000, Double-click on the Tools menu, point to
>         "Macro," and then choose "Security."  Select the level of
>         security you want.  High security will allow only macros that
>         have been signed to open.  Unsigned macros will be
>         automatically disabled.  Medium security always brings up the
>         macro dialog protection box that allows you to disable macros
>         if you are unsure of the macros.
>
>         With Macro virus protection turned on, Microsoft Word will
>         warn you every time you try to open a Word document that
>         contains a macro.  The warning gives you three choices: the
>         option to open the file but disable its macros ("disable
>         macros"), open the file with macros enabled ("enable macros"),
>         or the option to not open the file ("do no open").  Chose the
>         first (default) option: "disable macros."
>
>         For more information, visit the Macro Virus Protection page at
>         http://officeupdate.microsoft.com/focus/articles/o97mcrod.htm
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>      5. IF SOMEONE UNEXPECTEDLY SENDS YOU AN EXECUTABLE FILE -- IN
>         OTHER WORDS, A FILE THAT ENDS IN .EXE -- THROW IT OUT.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>         Most of the forty thousand viruses that are floating around
>         the Net right now are hiding in executable files.  If someone,
>         even a close personal friend, unexpectedly sends you a file
>         that ends in .exe -- or if they unexpectedly send you a zipped
>         file that contains a file or files that end in .exe -- your
>         safest bet is to delete the file without opening it.
>
>         The key word here is "unexpectedly."  If you are expecting a
>         friend to send you an executable file, you certainly don't
>         need to delete that file -- just virus scan it first before
>         you open it.
>
>         However, if you are in an environment (like a home) where you
>         don't often receive ANY files attached to your incoming email
>         messages, a better rule would be: "When in doubt, throw it out
>         ... and doubt EVERYTHING."
>
> How well will these five rules protect your computer from becoming
> infected with a virus, Trojan horse, or worm?  Take a look at the
> following questions, and decide for yourself.  How many people whose
> computers were infected with the Melissa virus ignored at least one of
> these rules?  ALL OF THEM!  How many people who followed these five
> rules had their computers infected by Melissa?  NONE OF THEM!  How
> many people whose computers were infected with the WormExplore.Zip
> virus ignored at least one of these rules?  ALL OF THEM!  How many
> people who followed these five rules had their computers infected by
> the WormExplore.Zip virus?  NONE OF THEM!
>
> These five rules will not protect you from every computer virus,
> Trojan horse, or worm, but they will so significantly decrease your
> computer's chances of becoming infected that you can all but forget
> about the next virus scare and all the ones that will follow.
>
> ---------------------------------
> TODAY'S SOUTHERN WORD OF THE WEEK
> ---------------------------------
>
> SKOO (Noun).  Educational institution.
> Usage: "Bubba's the scholar in the family ... he didn't drop out of
> skoo 'til the third grade."
>
> [Special thanks to "DonnelsonJ" for today's wurd]
>
> You can find all of the old Southern Words of the day at
> <A HREF="http://netsquirrel.com/crispen/word.html">
> http://netsquirrel.com/crispen/word.html </A>
>
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>            .~~~.  ))
>  (\__/)  .'     )  ))       Patrick Douglas Crispen
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