Wonderful.    Carole H.

--- William Harshaw <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>     Here's the poem..  Sorry for the goof!
>
> LAZARUS
>
> Mornings were a dull routine
> Immobile
> Many hors would pass until my brain's command
> My anxious limbs its tortured message reached
> And permitted steps, first halting
> Like a child would take
> Then runstumble
> Strangers asked:
> "What troubles him?
> His legs like branches on a mishaped tree
> Do move in deformed harmony."
>
> I
>
> The day began normally for me.
> Up at five.  Run.
> At seven leave.
> Drive there on the 401.
> Arive shaking from the tension
> Of driving.  Or so I thought.
> Until the doctor said:
> "Parkinson's" Esther cried.
> The doctor said:
> "You will tie flies agan"
> The fool had no sense of what's important.
>
> Nor had I.
> I tried to hide the shaking hand
> The dragging foot.
> To no avail.  One day I said:
> "No, not hangover. Parkinson's
>
> No pain
> No movement
> No work
> Pension at forty-five.
>
> A baker's dozen year now
> I raged like Samson
> I did not curse God
> I tried to understand
> Why me?
> There is no reason
> There never is
> So, why not me?
>
> It is perverse
> Some days I move at will
> Others cannot despite my will
>
> It moves in leaps as if to curb
> My pleasure.
> I am trapped inside my body.
> But not in prison.
> For I have much to do before I go
> I must complete the task,
> Fulfil the vision.
>
> II
>
> There are otherswho do not know
> Why they are different
> Or what makes them so
> They live in squalor and
> Fear
> Of what they do not know.
>
> Because we are indifferent
> Because we care more for the far away
> Than the near
> Bosnia, not Regent's Park
> New neighbourhoods to us
> Xenophobia is powerful
> We are afraid of what we do not know.
>
> The Good Samaratin shared not our fears
> He helped without reward
> We have neither
> Soul nor imagination
> We care what others think
> Emotion does not show
> It is unmanly
> To stop before satiety
> Or so we think.
>
> III
>
> He said: "The poor are always with us"
> Do not make Him a liar
> For He is perfect
> And cannot lie.
>
> We are or brother's keeper
> Providence keeps us.
> We defy it hedonically
> Always testing limits
> We are the hollow men
> And do not now it.
> We whimper at affronts to comfort
> And repeat old words
> That cleanse guilt
> Like silver polish
> No effort.
>
> We go about from day to day
> Seeing nothing but footsteps.
> Smelling only the ordinary and execrable,
> Feeling nothing but itchen textures and
> Bedroom emotions.
>
> What closes or eyes to wonder?
> Our touch to the exquisite?
> Our minds to the unknown?
>
> Why are we afraid to explore the beyond?
> Examine the rose without thought of time
> Or consequence?
> Shut off all around
> Let concentration become meditation
> Surrounded by what was always there
> Now understood.
>
> Creation transforms us
> If we let it, into
> New people freed of the opaquing caul
> That clouds the senses
> Numbs the mind.
>
> IV
>
> We do not think
> Of disability
> When we are young
> We will be forever young
> Perfection
> We look for and find not.
>
> Now half the time
> I cannot walk
> Cannot write
> Speech is slurred
> I can see and
>  Hear
> And touch
>
> Pain is transient
> It is easy to sit and
> Not initiate ... anything.
> People understand that it is hard.
> The anguish of a song unsung,
> A book unwritten is as impotence
> To creation.  We are free to choose.
>
> We become the passive people
> Beneficiaries of goodwill expressed
> Without asking us
> What, when, where ...
> We would like ...
> No matter ... they know best
> We only have PD
> The object of their charity.
>
> I am Lazarus.
> There are gradations of Hell.
> I know them all.
> I am not a survivor.
> I am the strongest and best
> I must be
> To endure Hell.
> I am Lazarus
> I am not chosen
> I have made the choice
> To be free
>
> V
>
> Waiting, Endlessly ...
> Preparation, three days of tests
> Word games, memory, spatial,
> Meds on ... meds off ... performance
> Videotaping me waling, moving and immobile.
>
> The Social Contract, so-called ...
> Richard Hooker looks down in horror
> The perverted se of noble thought
> Destroys the polity.
> Hence the waiting
> For an O.R.
> False alarms ... then
> Go back home.
>
> VI
>
> Skull bolted to the table
> Immobilized
> For the duration.
> Wide awake. No sedation.
>
=== message truncated ===

_____________________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Free instant messaging and more at http://messenger.yahoo.com