Hi Janet,
      I liked your subject line LOL and thank you for the good work. Janice
----- Original Message -----
From: janet paterson <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, August 06, 1999 6:47 AM
Subject: is rape about sex or about power?


> hi all
>
> yep, i guess i got your attention that time!
>
> life is complex
> life is difficult
> everything is given to us to learn from
> including and especially 'disturbing' and 'distasteful' issues
>
> currently
> there are several layers of this miraculous medium
> getting all mixed up together and then some
> here is my effort at clarity:
>
>
> 1. 1800 OPINIONS
>
> there has been controversy about humour of any kind on the list
> that will never be resolved
> one member's final straw
> is another's annoyance
> is another's lifeline
> is another's delight
>
>
> 1A. LISTOWNER RESPONSE
>
> this list is here to support people with parkinson's
> we offer it to them on an as needed basis
> please use it within our guidelines
>
>
> 2. PERSONAL ATTACKS
>
> telling someone their postings/opinions/jokes are disgusting
> is one thing
> telling someone they are disgusting
> is quite another
>
> criticize the acts not the actee
>
> i may do "-----" things at times
> but it does not follow that i am "-----" all the time
> or that i am a "-----" person
>
> most thinking people can discern the difference between the two
> especially when it is pointed out to them
>
> definition of the word 'attack' is in the hands of the 'attackee'
> if i feel like i've been attacked
> i have been attacked
> period
>
>
> 2B.LISTOWNER RESPONSE
>
> personal attacks are not allowed here
>
> the 'three strikes and you're out' concept appeals
>
> barb and i as listowners have the final call
>
> we may or may not appeal to the list for input
> depending on the circumstances
>
> our 'bias', if any, will be pro attackee
>
> listmembers are here to offer up their vulnerabilities:
> it is our first responsibility to honour that and to protect it
>
>
> 3. PRIVATE PERSONAL ATTACKS
>
> making a personal attack may be an act of ignorance
> making a private personal attack is a calculated act of cowardice
>
> cowards act in secret
> intimidation and manipulation
> is their aim and their source of power in their own twisted minds
>
> using an 'open but private' forum like the pd list
> where members have willingly exposed their hurts and their pain
> to gain access to potential 'victims'
> is a particularly ugly aspect of that manipulation
>
> persistent unwelcome and uninvited private personal communication
> constitutes more than an attack
> it is a crime
> otherwise known as abuse, stalking, etc
> and is not permitted by responsible internet service providers
>
> one very effective way to defuse the perpetrator's 'power'
> both in the perpetrator's and in the victim's perception
> is to eliminate the secrecy
> bring the slime out into the light of day
> and deal with it openly
>
> charlie's points about 'dysfunctional' family problems
> come home to roost on this issue
>
>
> 3A. LISTOWNER RESPONSE
>
> private personal attacks are not allowed here
> see 2A above
>
>
> 4. LIST STRUCTURE
>
> see earlier posts on 'you are cordially invited'
>
>
> janet
> up to her armpits in dishes
>
> janet paterson
> 52 now / 41 dx / 37 onset
> snail-mail: PO Box 171  Almonte  Ontario  K0A 1A0  Canada
> website: a new voice <http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/>
> e-mail: <[log in to unmask]>
>