Bonnie...

I'm reading... I'm reading. (in fact I've prolly spent
half my life reading email) <grin>

Let's just chalk this up to experience and get on
with the business of living, 'kay?

Barb Mallut
[log in to unmask]

-----Original Message-----
From: Bonnie Rowley <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Sunday, August 29, 1999 4:10 PM
Subject: Re: LIST--Janet's question--NON-PD


>janet,
>While I agree 100 percent with what Camilla posted, & her kind,
thoughtful
>wording -
>I, on the other hand, do not believe that it should become a
personal issue.
> (is David Boots here???)
>IMHO, I believe that once someone's feelings have been hurt, then
that should
>be the end of the discussion
>OR
>an apology should come out of it from the one who did the hurting
of feelings.
>
>Gosh, I feel like I'm working with the kids I baby-sit now
instead of
>communicating with other adults, which I know we all are.
>
>While I'm on the subject of "apology"
>Barb M, I hope you are reading this because I accept your apology
that I do
>believe I read in one of posts. (I try to teach "my" kids about
both sides of
>hurt feelings)
>
>Bonnie
>daughter of Jim 77/4
>
>In a message dated 8/29/99 3:45:34 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
>[log in to unmask] writes:
>
>> Dear Janet / List Elf---
>>  You wrote:
>>  >if anyone can point out to me
>>  >where my words have appeared harsh
>>  >i would be grateful
>>
>>  Taking this not as defensive, but as a genuine request on your
part, I will
>>  try to explain how I see it.
>>  In my opinion, the following exchange was what Michel heard as
"hurtful"--
>>
>>  Michel wrote:
>>  <But the worse part of that, is that it repelled many
newcomers
>>  >who wanted to discuss strictly PD matters, and some old
timers
>>  >who could not cope with the inordinate size or number of the
E-mail,
>>  >and felt forced to abandon us...
>>
>>  Janet replied:
>>  ...if not, i suggest that your statements are not only false
>>  but negative and inflammatory and awfulizing and
catastrophizing
>>  viz the emotional baggage of your words
>>  'worst' 'repelled' 'inordinate' 'forced' and 'abandon'
>>
>>  My "perception" of this paragraph is that it is a personal
attack on Michel
>>  who was stating what was, I believe, an accurate summary of
many past posts
>>  to the list.  I have to admit I cringed when I read it. I
realize you may
>>  not have intended it as an attack, but as vigorous discourse,
and haven't
>>  understood how your words may come across to others.
Unfortunately, as
>>  you have often pointed out, perceptions can vary---and that is
why I AGAIN
>>  suggest that when such disagreements arise they may better be
clarified
>>  one-to-one rather than on the whole list---this has become,
after all , a
>>  "non-pd" matter  .   No one is suggesting censorship or
throttling your
>>  voice, or trying to control you--- but you ASKED to have this
pointed out
>>  to you, so I am granting your request,  in the hope that you
may be able to
>>  temper your tone  when you realize how it  can affect others.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>  Camilla Flintermann, CG for Peter 81/70/55
>>  Oxford, Ohio
>>  http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/camilla/one.htm
>>  <[log in to unmask]>
>>
>>                          "Ask me about the CARE list for
>>                          Caregivers of Parkinsonians ! "
>>