At 21:39 1999/11/10 -0700, you wrote:
>Janet, what's the Mars Mambo Express with Bern...sounds exciting.  I used to
>love to dance...(one of the saddest things for me, losing my sense of
>rythym--I can feel the beat, but I can't keep time to it.) but maybe by then
>I'll be able to dance again?





--------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 03 Sep 1999 02:56:19 -0400
From: janet paterson
Subj: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

     estrangement

     a strange meant
     a making strange
     a losing touch
     a shutting out
     a shutting in

     shut the door
     close it off
     end it

     put a stop to it
     make it final
     no more

     all out of fear
     intolerance
     out of fear
     jealousy
     out of fear
     anger
     out of fear
     fear
     out of fear

     fear of hurting
     fear of losing
     fear of giving
     fear of taking
     fear of needing
     fear of wanting
     fear of loving


     1999/09/01


--------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1999 10:57:52 +0200
From: Bernard Shaw
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

Dear Janet,

Your poem got to me, are you feeling depressive today
or are you generally having a bad time.?
I have a saying which goes like this.
If your face wants to smile, Let it.
If it doesn't, Make it.
Easy for me to write but I honestly try to smile no matter how I
feel. The world is for most Parkinson patients one big up and down,
mainly downs when I am to be honest. I hope that I have made a
mistake about your Poem and that you feel on top of the world.

Bern.

--------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1999 06:04:13 -0700
From: Carole Hercun
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

Very nice. A bit on the dark side. But, as I am
learning, that's part of life, isn't it?

Carole

--------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 03 Sep 1999 09:59:56 -0400
From: janet paterson
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

hi all

At 10:57 1999/09/03 +0200, bern wrote:
>Your poem got to me, are you feeling depressive today
>or are you generally having a bad time.?...

neither!

that 'pome' was some musing on thoughts and observations
which had been percolating in my head for awhile

i will take your reaction
as one of the nicest compliments about my writing
that i've ever had!

>I have a saying which goes like this.
>If your face wants to smile, Let it. If it doesn't, Make it...

sort of like an old song about whistling
"whenever i feel afraid...."

>Easy for me to write but I honestly try to smile
>no matter how I feel. The world is for most Parkinson
>patients one big up and down, mainly downs when I am
>to be honest...

i think it's important that we 'allow' ourselves
to feel lousy when we feel lousy

it was also important to me to realize
that i could actively make a conscious choice in how i looked at
... everything!

>I hope that I have made a mistake about your Poem
>and that you feel on top of the world. Bern.
>http://members.teleweb.at/bernard.shaw/poetry.html

i don't know if i would call it a 'mistake'
if my words grabbed your heart and did a little twisting there

maybe it's a case of my words having the 'power' to grab
maybe it's a case of your heart being open and 'twistable'

janet

--------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 03 Sep 1999 10:01:34 -0400
From: janet paterson
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

At 06:04 1999/09/03 -0700, carole wrote:
>Very nice. A bit on the dark side. But, as I am
>learning, that's part of life, isn't it?

thank you, carole
and,
yes it is,
just as surely as day follows night

janet

--------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1999 16:23:53 +0200
From: Bernard Shaw
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

Janet

I am so pleased that you are alright. Your poem did touch me
but then nowadays so much touches me that I did not consciously
see before Parkinon's. A piece of music .a child that is in
distress, a poverty stricken person anywhere in the world. My
heart goes out to them. Is it possibly all this Sinamet.? Does
it cause our brains to react differently or is it Old Age creeping
up.?
I tell everone that I meet,  I will live to be a hundred,
Parkinson or no Parkinson. I want to see the civilisation jump in
the next thirty years. Perhaps I too will be able to go to Mars or
even the Moon. I have alwayss been an optimist so perhaps I will
reach the 100 mark.

Bern


--------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1999 12:30:30 -0700
From: Carole Hercun
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

Hi Bernard:

I'm Carole, not janet, but I'm going to
answer you anyway. I think the illness changes our
brains, ourselves, in ways I don't begin to
understand, both psychological and physiological. I
know I have become a very different person as a result
of PD. I have done things this past year that I had
put off doing for a lifetime. Charlie wrote when I
first joined this List that no matter what happens, it
will be an interesting journey. I agree. At any rate,
it is a pleasure to see such a "Cockeyed Optimist" in
our midst.

Carole


--------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1999 11:09:30 -0400
From: joan carol urquhart <[log in to unmask]>
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome with insight
--------------------------------------

>From one artist to another...

Art, like life, is an ongoing process of self-exploration.
We work with what we have.  An artist creates art to speak
about his or her own humanity...we leave it behind to
share some truth about  ourselves,  our essence,  with
others ... it communicates if it offers some insight.  If it
is honest, others repond to it (not always favourably)...any
response is a human connection.  Isn't that the point of all
of this (ie. life)...to love and to
learn?

This piece reveals to me something that I had not considered...
about someone that I love very much.

Thank you for the artistry of your insight.

Joan


--------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 3 Sep 1999 16:46:33 -0400
From: Cathy Morse
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

Janet,

I was also touched by your poem and glad  to hear you are not
having a bad day,  You  certainly pegged my feelings when I am.
Nice job.

Living with pd is constantly balancing a two edged sword on
your fingertip. Like being able to touch others with such
despairing thoghts.

Cathy

--------------------------------------
Date: Sat, 4 Sep 1999 00:58:18 -0500
From: Hilary Blue
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

Bern

I wonder. I'm not sure i agree with you.. Of course i can only
speak to my own feelings - but i think that PD allows me -or
causes me (it depends on your point of vie w )  t o cry much
more easily. so that when something moves me, i cry, where
once i would  have remained stoically      stony faced  .
THis sounds sort of back to front. I dot mean like the PD mad,
I means i was trained not to allow my emotions to show up too
much on the  surface - not to laugh to loud (bad manners), not
to cry in public (embarrassing), not to reveal ones feelings.
But  now, the slightest thing will set off the tears - which
kind of gives me licence to admit that i am feeling  whatever -
and thus i seem to be feeling more than i did, but actually i'm
just showing tha ti'm feeling more than i did. I do but if i'm
making m self clear - i'm not even sure I know what i'm getting
at.

Hilary

--------------------------------------
Date: Sat, 4 Sep 1999 08:08:44 +0200
From: Bernard Shaw
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

Hello Hilary,

I know the message you are telling all of those do not do this,
do not do that when one is young makes up for some very frustrated
people. I was brought up in an Orphanage with a very strict
discipline. Violence to the children was a normal thing and I wonder
whether the stress that I had as a child has anything to do with
Parkinson's. Have a nice day now

Bern

--------------------------------------
Date: Sat, 4 Sep 1999 08:25:24 +0200
From: Bernard Shaw
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

Hello Carol,

Thank you for your kind words. Yes I am an optimist and I think
it is in my nature . My glass is never half empty always half full.
I have a wierd brain and sometimes the funniest things come to
my mind. I either write a small poem or struggle to hold the laughter
or the tears back. Hhave a really great day

Bern

--------------------------------------
Date: Sat, 4 Sep 1999 03:38:46 -0500
From: Hilary Blue
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

I have to quote my 18 yr old son Jed, who made the following
pronouncement:
The cup is always full, only half of it is air,
and half of it is water!

Hilary

--------------------------------------
Date: Sat, 4 Sep 1999 09:45:32 +0200
From: Bernard Shaw
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

Hilary,

I can only say Cheers to that; or skol or whatever one says in your
part of the world.

Bern

--------------------------------------
Date: Sat, 04 Sep 1999 08:29:45 -0400
From: janet paterson
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

hi all

At 16:23 1999/09/03 +0200, bern wrote:
>... Is it possibly all this Sinamet.? Does it cause our
>brains to react differently or is it Old Age creeping up.? ...

Our brain chemistry is an amazing micro-internet all on its own.
I think that there is a great deal more to pd than its physical
symptoms. There is a definite link with clinical depression; dopamine
is associated with addiction, euphoria, has been named 'the feel good'
neurotransmitter. [funny - Dr. Burns' book on cd is called 'Feeling
Good']

One of the secondary symptoms of pd is 'a tendency to tears'. Since
tears are a physical manifestation of strong emotion, I tend to think
that this symptom description is a tad limited.

I would venture a guess that pd changes our brain chemistry in a way
that makes us more vulnerable and open to emotions; brings them all
up closer to the surface. And I am starting to think that this
emotionality is something separate from simply a reaction [anger,
denial, etc.] to our pd diagnosis and the ongoing daily realities of
our 'affliction'

>I tell everone that I meet,  I will live to be a hundred, Parkinson
>or no Parkinson. I want to see the civilisation jump in the next
>thirty years. Perhaps I too will be able to go to Mars or even the
>Moon. I have alwayss been an optimist so perhaps I will reach the
>100 mark.

if i've done my arithmetic right
when i join you on board the Mars-Mambo-Express
i will only be 82!

janet

--------------------------------------
Date: Sat, 04 Sep 1999 08:35:45 -0400
From: janet paterson
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome

hi all

At 03:38 1999/09/04 -0500, hilary wrote:
>I have to quote my 18 yr old son Jed,
>who made the following pronouncement:
>The cup is always full, only half of it is air,
>and half of it is water!

i love it!
... out of the mouths of babes...

janet

--------------------------------------
Date: Sat, 04 Sep 1999 08:42:04 -0400
From: janet paterson
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome with insight
--------------------------------------

hi all

At 11:09 1999/09/03 -0400, carol joan wrote:
>... Isn't that the point of all of this
>(ie. life)...to love and to learn?...

good golly!
i've said those very same words myself right here

>This piece reveals to me something that I had not
>considered... about someone that I love very much.
>Thank you for the artistry of your insight...

thank you for those kind words, carol
'estrangement' came out of some long and deep thinking
i've done about people i have loved and love
and people who have loved and love me

janet

--------------------------------------
Date: Sat, 4 Sep 1999 15:19:24 +0200
From: Bernard Shaw
Subj: Re: NONPD: a pome
--------------------------------------

Well Janet

I hope they allow young ones to travel with out an accompanying
adult or we will both have to stay here on Earth and let the
others go in our place. (:-) )lol

bern

--------------------------------------


janet paterson
52 now / 41 dx / 37 onset
e-mail - [log in to unmask]
web-site -  http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/