>Date: Mon, 13 Dec 1999 19:14:42 -0600
>From: Patrick Douglas Crispen <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: TOURBUS -- 14 DEC 1999 -- ELF BOWLING/CRISPEN'S SIX ANTIVIRUS
> RULES
>To: [log in to unmask]
>...
>--------------------
>The Elf Bowling Hoax
>--------------------
>
>There is a warning floating around the Net right now warning you that
>
> If you have received any of the following games:
> Frogapult.exe
> Elfbowl.exe (Frog game and elf bowling)
> Delete them completely out of your system, as they both have a
> delayed virus attached to them that will be activated on
> Christmas Day and will wipe out your system, boot sector, master
> boot record etc!!!
> I have tested these two games on a test machine and Lo and Behold
> - KaBoom!!!
> If you know of anyone else who has these games, let them know.
>
>The story is yet another in a long string of Internet virus hoaxes.
>If you have installed any of these programs, don't worry -- contrary
>to what the warning says, these programs do NOT contain viruses.
>
>In fact, here is what the folks at the Symantec AntiVirus Research
>Center have to say about this hoax:
>
> Symantec AntiVirus Research Center has received many submissions
> of these programs developed by NVISION DESIGN,INC including
> Y2KGAME.EXE and has all been confirmed to be free of viruses ...
>
> Please ignore any messages regarding this supposed "virus" and do
> not pass on any messages regarding it. Passing on messages about
> this hoax serves only to further propagate it.
>
>You can read the full text of Symantec's summary of the Elf Bowling
>virus hoax at
>
><A HREF="http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/y2kgame.hoax.html">
>http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/y2kgame.hoax.html </A>.
>
>Now, for a quick message to the folks who actually installed the Elf
>Bowling program on their computer: WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU DOING
>DOUBLE-CLICKING ON AN UNKNOWN EXECUTABLE FILE ATTACHED TO AN EMAIL
>MESSAGE IN THE FIRST PLACE, SILLY?! The number one way that computers
>become infected by viruses -- let me repeat that for effect: the
>NUMBER ONE way computers become infected by viruses -- is through
>people double-clicking on unknown, executable (.exe) files attached to
>emails.
>
>You were lucky this time. THIS TIME. The Elf Bowling program did not
>contain a virus. The next executable program you receive attached to
>an email message -- pics4you.exe, zipped_files.exe, and so on --
>probably WILL contain a virus. And, unless you stop double-clicking
>on executable files attached to email messages, I can all but
>guarantee you that your computer will eventually become infected with
>a virus. :(
>
>You were lucky this time. Your luck can not and will not last forever.
>
>How can you protect yourself from future viruses? Simple. Follow these
>six, simple rules:
>
>---------------------------------------------------
>Crispen's *SIX* Antivirus Rules -- 13 December 1999
>---------------------------------------------------
>
>In light of the recent Bubbleboy and WormExploreZip virus outbreaks, I
>decided to re-rewrite my rules on how to protect yourself from
>computer viruses, Trojan horses, or worms. Regardless of your
>operating system, these six rules should protect you from most of the
>over FORTY-SIX THOUSAND viruses that are currently floating around the
>Net.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>1. PURCHASE A GOOD, COMMERCIAL ANTIVIRUS PROGRAM LIKE NORTON ANTIVIRUS
> OR MCAFEE VIRUSSCAN.
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Most commercial antivirus programs usually cost between US$40
> and US$50 and can be purchased at almost any computer store in
> the world. [You can usually save about US$10 if you purchase
> the software online -- visit http://www.shopper.com/ for more
> information].
>
> Antivirus program manufacturers also release minor upgrades
> every two to three months and major upgrades every twelve to
> eighteen months. YOU NEED THESE UPGRADES. Minor upgrades are
> usually free, and major upgrades usually cost anywhere between
> US$20 and US$40, depending on the manufacturer [think of this
> as an expected expense -- just as you have to change your
> car's oil every 3,000 miles, you have to upgrade your
> antivirus software every year to year-and-a-half].
>
> To see if any minor or major upgrades are available for your
> antivirus program, visit your antivirus program manufacturer's
> homepage. A list of antivirus manufacturers' homepages can be
> found at http://www.yahoo.com/ or at AOL keyword "virus."
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 2. UPDATE YOUR VIRUS DEFINITIONS FREQUENTLY (AT LEAST ONCE A
> WEEK).
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> With over 250 new viruses being discovered each week, if you
> don't update your definitions frequently you won't be
> protected from ANY of the new viruses floating around the Net.
>
> How do you update your virus definitions? That depends on
> the antivirus program you use. Norton Antivirus has a "Live
> Update" button built into the program; click on it, and Norton
> automatically downloads and installs the latest virus
> definitions from Net. McAfee VirusScan has a similar update
> function (go to File --> Update VirusScan).
>
> If you are unsure of how to update your virus definitions,
> visit the homepage of your antivirus software manufacturer and
> look for their "download," "update," or "technical support"
> section.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 3. NEVER DOUBLE-CLICK (OR LAUNCH) *ANY* FILE, ESPECIALLY AN EMAIL
> ATTACHMENT, REGARDLESS OF WHO THE FILE IS FROM, UNTIL YOU
> FIRST SCAN THAT FILE WITH YOUR ANTIVIRUS PROGRAM.
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> This is probably the most important rule of them all. There
> are currently over forty-six thousand viruses out there, there
> are over 2.8 trillion possible files names out there, and any
> one of those viruses could be hiding in any one of those file
> names. A lot of people think that you can protect yourself
> from a computer virus by being on the lookout for one
> particular virus or one particular file name (hence all of the
> virus warnings you have received in your email inbox lately).
> That's not only silly, that's dangerous. If you want to
> protect your computer from viruses, you need to ignore ALL of
> the virus warnings you receive and instead beware of EVERY
> file you see, especially every file that is attached to an
> email message.
>
> It is important to note that, despite all of the warnings to
> the contrary, there is no such thing as an email virus. If
> you are running the most up-to-date version of Windows (see
> rule #5 below) or if you have a Mac, you can open your emails,
> regardless of their subject lines, without fear of infecting
> your computer, provided your email program doesn't
> automatically open attachments (most don't). It is the files
> that are ATTACHED to emails that you have to fear.
>
> Think of a computer virus as a well-packaged letter bomb. You
> can move a letter bomb from room to room in your house without
> any danger. Open the letter bomb, however, and you die. The
> same is true with computer viruses. You could download a
> billion virus-infected files from the Internet and receive
> another billion virus-infected files attached to email
> messages and your computer still wouldn't be infected with a
> virus. Open, or double-click on, just ONE of those files,
> though, and your computer is dead.
>
> Remember, to infect your computer with a virus, you have to
> open (or double-click on) a file that contains a virus. As
> long as you don't open that file, you really have nothing to
> fear.
>
> How can you scan a file for viruses? It depends on the
> antivirus program you use. The best bet is to read your
> antivirus program's instructions or read its online help
> section. If you use Norton Antivirus or McAfee VirusScan,
> right-click (or, if you have a Mac, click and hold) on the
> file in question. A pop-up menu should appear, and one of the
> choices should be "Scan with ..." and the name of your
> antivirus program. If that doesn't work, just open your
> antivirus program and try to scan the file from there.
>
> Do you have to scan EVERY file, even if that file is from your
> friends or coworkers? Yes! Both the Melissa and the
> WormExplore.Zip viruses distributed themselves by opening your
> email program, looking at either your 'friends' list or the
> list of email addresses in your inbox, and then distributing
> virus-infected files to everyone on that list.
>
> In the world of computer viruses, you can't trust ANYONE.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 4. TURN ON MACRO VIRUS PROTECTION IN MICROSOFT WORD, AND BEWARE
> OF ALL WORD MACROS, ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT MACROS
> ARE.
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Word Macros are saved sequences of commands or keyboard
> strokes that can be stored and then recalled with a single
> command or keyboard stroke. They enable advanced Word users
> to easily accomplish what would otherwise be difficult tasks.
> They also allow virus writers to do serious damage to your
> computer. For example, the Melissa virus was actually a Word
> Macro virus.
>
> If you use Word 97, go to Tools --> Options. Click on the
> "General" tab. Make sure that "Macro virus protection" (at
> the bottom of the list) is checked.
>
> If you use Word 2000, Double-click on the Tools menu, point to
> "Macro," and then choose "Security." Select the level of
> security you want. High security will allow only macros that
> have been signed to open. Unsigned macros will be
> automatically disabled. Medium security always brings up the
> macro dialog protection box that allows you to disable macros
> if you are unsure of the macros.
>
> With Macro virus protection turned on, Microsoft Word will
> warn you every time you try to open a Word document that
> contains a macro. The warning gives you three choices: the
> option to open the file but disable its macros ("disable
> macros"), open the file with macros enabled ("enable macros"),
> or the option to not open the file ("do no open"). Chose the
> first (default) option: "disable macros."
>
> For more information, visit the Macro Virus Protection page at
> http://officeupdate.microsoft.com/focus/articles/o97mcrod.htm
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 5. RUN WINDOWS UPDATE AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Windows is aptly named because it is full of holes. There are
> several, inadvertent 'open doors' (or 'security holes') in the
> Windows operating system that *COULD* conceivably make your
> computer vulnerable to outside attack. In specific, a mean-
> spirited hacker *COULD* 'walk through' one of these open doors
> on your Windows PC and read any file on your computer, delete
> specific files or programs, or even completely erase your hard
> drive.
>
> When the folks at Microsoft discover a security hole, they
> immediately release a software patch to close it. Without the
> patch -- and there are MANY -- your computer is wide open to
> outside attack.
>
> Fortunately, downloading these patches couldn't be simpler.
> Built into every Windows 95 and Windows 98 PC is something
> called "Windows Update." Windows Update is completely free,
> but there is one catch: you have to have Internet Explorer 5
> to be able to use it. :(
>
> Here is how to use Windows Update to download all of the
> security patches Microsoft has released since your PC was
> made:
>
> 1. Connect (or logon) to the Internet.
>
> 2. Go to Start --> Settings --> Windows Update on your
> PC. This launches Internet Explorer and connects you
> to Microsoft's Windows Update page
> [ http://windowsupdate.microsoft.com/ ]. If you don't
> have Internet Explorer 5 (IE5), Microsoft's Windows
> Update page will talk you through the process of
> downloading IE5. If you already have IE5, keep
> reading.
>
> 3. On the top left-hand side of the Windows Update page,
> click on the "Product Updates" link (it is the one
> with the hand and the red *)
>
> 4. A pop-up window will appear, telling you to wait while
> your computer DOESN'T send any information to
> Microsoft (well, that's what it says!)
>
> 5. Eventually, you'll see a page that says "Select
> Software." When Microsoft releases an essential
> update or patch to close a security hole in Windows,
> they put it in this page's "Critical Updates" section.
> Select (or click on) EVERYTHING in the "Critical
> Updates" section -- you need *ALL* of the critical
> updates -- and then click on the big, gray "Download"
> arrow in the top right hand corner of the page.
>
> 6. Follow the on-screen prompts. That's it! :)
>
>New security holes are found in Windows every week or two, so it is a
>good idea to run Windows Update at least once a month. The first time
>you run it, expect to see a MESS of critical updates. After that,
>though, there should only be one or two critical updates you'll have
>to download every month.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 6. IF SOMEONE UNEXPECTEDLY SENDS YOU AN EXECUTABLE FILE -- IN
> OTHER WORDS, A FILE THAT ENDS IN .EXE -- THROW IT OUT.
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Most of the forty-six thousand viruses that are floating
> around the Net right now are hiding in executable files. If
> someone, even a close personal friend, unexpectedly sends you
> a file that ends in .exe -- or if they unexpectedly send you a
> zipped file that contains a file or files that end in .exe --
> your safest bet is to delete the file without opening it.
>
> The key word here is "unexpectedly." If you are expecting a
> friend to send you an executable file, you certainly don't
> need to delete that file -- just virus scan it first before
> you open it.
>
> However, if you are in an environment (like a home) where you
> don't often receive ANY files attached to your incoming email
> messages, a better rule would be: "When in doubt, throw it out
> ... and doubt EVERYTHING."
>
>How well will these six rules protect your computer from becoming
>infected with a virus, Trojan horse, or worm? Take a look at the
>following questions, and decide for yourself. How many people whose
>computers were infected with the Melissa virus ignored at least one of
>these rules? ALL OF THEM! How many people who followed these six
>rules had their computers infected by Melissa? NONE OF THEM! How
>many people whose computers were infected with the WormExplore.Zip
>virus ignored at least one of these rules? ALL OF THEM! How many
>people who followed these six rules had their computers infected by
>the WormExplore.Zip virus? NONE OF THEM!
>
>These six rules will not protect you from every computer virus, Trojan
>horse, or worm, but they will so significantly decrease your
>computer's chances of becoming infected that you can all but forget
>about the next virus scare and all the ones that will follow.
>
>TODAY'S TOURBUS STOP(S):
> Elf Bowling / Crispen's *SIX* Antivirus Rules
>TODAY'S TOURBUS ADDRESS(ES):
> http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/y2kgame.hoax.html
>
>---------------------------------
>TODAY'S SOUTHERN WORD OF THE WEEK
>---------------------------------
>
>PEEL (noun). Small, rounded mass of medicine.
>Usage: "The doctah gave me a peel and I'm all better!"
>
>[Special thanks to "Joanne" for today's wurd]
>
>You can find all of the old Southern Words of the day at
><A HREF="http://netsquirrel.com/crispen/word.html">
>http://netsquirrel.com/crispen/word.html </A>
>
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> .~~~. ))
> (\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
> /o o \/ .~
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