 |
 |
Joartis... it can be hard to be out in public with this conditon. I am finding this out for myself. However, I have the benefit of growing up with two disabled sisters that caused a lot of looks when out. I watched my parents fight daily for their rights to go to school like the others (during the 50's) and be able to be out in public. I learned a long time back that if others have a problem with some one other's needs then it is just that... their problem. I tremor out, in church, teaching class, grocery shopping etc. I drop things, fall, bump into things and the like. In today's world we are luckier then in the past. There is a world wide awareness for those less capable then others. We have rights to park closer, sit in certain areas, have special hotel rooms, etc etc etc. Not to lessen the reality of going out and being staired at.... that is difficult. But again, It is part of who we are. We are this conditon and that does not make us less of a person... we have special needs. Many times others look out of curiousity as to how another copes with such a challenge. Some look to recall a time in their life past or possibly in the future. Some times we take looks as always being about us, when it may well be about the person who is looking. I sometimes look at children with siblings who are disabled and it flashes back to my experience and how different or not it is today. So, yes, being out can be a bit difficult with someone who is having troubles with food, coughing, spilling etc. But some times the looks are not about us at all. I hope that this may expand your understanding on what some looks are about. You may be eduacating those around you. Maybe slow down a bit. Rome wasn't built in a day. I took my disabled in-laws out only on the very best of their days at first. We would go to small quiet places first. IHOPs are great, but fast and crowded and busy. Some times a quieter, smaller place will assist your husband in feeling more relaxed and in routine. Later, I would take my mohter in law out on very bad days just to assist her in trying to recapture some sense of expansion in her world. I grew up with cripple children's association, had a child with disabilities, home cared my in-laws (both with disabilities) and my husband with a degenerational condition and now it is my turn with PD. If your husband can get out and seems to enjoy it... do it (blast the other looks)... if it causes him to stiffen and be confused, find another avenue for his life's out ward living. Drives, etc. Play it by ear, but try to find it in a way as we did as kids... find the adventure in the discovery. I know, harder then it sounds... hang in there and know that many of us are praying for you and your husband to have a gentler year in '2000.