Ruth, Caregiving someone you love is one of the most difficult experiences we have. Like you said, to have to stand by and watch and not be able to do anything about it. You have to be able to cry and vent. That is what this listserv is all about. To assist in the support of one another and to be here to just LISTEN. No matter how long or short. So, you just cry and vent all you need to get you through this time. We are all here for you and one another. It's not the same as a real shoulder to lean on, but we still are here for you. Good Luck ....Kathie [log in to unmask]