As an adoptive mother I certainly can understand Colleen's feelings---one
of our (adult) daughters has connected (very positively) with her birth
family, with our approval and support--the other daughter has never wanted
to search. I agree with Jeanne (below) that this should be mutually
agreeable--some states , and Ohio is one, have a registry where both
parties can sign up if they wish to search/be found. This seems to me the
most rational way to handle what may in some cases be a terribly delicate
situation. We were so relieved for our daughter that her birth parents had
wanted to be found, but if not, what a terrible rejection it would have
been for her, as happened to the son of a friend of ours. In the "old
days" anonymity was guaranteed to birth mothers, but in these days when
more adoptions are "open" this may be less of an issue. Incidentally, our
connection with the birth family was NOT a threat to us, but deepened our
relationship with our daughter, as she knew we realized this was important
to her.
Colleen wrote:
>
> ...I am having a hard time choosing McCain as I just read emails
> from another list that he could be against open records for adoptees. I
> can't vote for someone like this. Adoptees have the right to know their
> heritage.
>
> Coleen :)
Jeanne replied:
>Adoptees have a right (and a real need these days) to their family's medical
>history. Beyond that, I don't believe the rights of the biological parents
>who gave up these children should be violated. One of my parents was
>adopted as an infant and knowing what I know about genetics, I'd certainly
>like to know more (anything actually) about my parent's biological parents
>as pertains to their medical histories. However, I believe that only if
>both sides - biological parent(s) and child - indicate they wish to know the
>other personally should this type of information be made available.
>
>Personal feelings of: Jeanne Lee-Rosner, PDF, Chicago
>
Camilla Flintermann Oxford,OH
http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/camilla/one.htm
<[log in to unmask]>
also on PDWebring at :
http://members.tripod.lycos.nl/genugten/flinterm.htm
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