 |
 |
thank you (sorry for taking so long to respond) registries don't always work..dead people don't search....most bmoms were shamed (bad girls got pregnant...unmarried...wrong again..they just got caught)...told to go on with their lives...forget the child....that is sooooooooo wrong....it is our lives and we...bmoms, adoptees, adoptive families should not be told what to do... it is simply that you (in general) have your bc ...are you different than me? I can't have mine even tho we are reunited. life is not alll easy....not all reunions *work* but that is mainly because of shame and stigmas. too many secrets and lies. Our adoptive parents are and always will be our parents..nothing changes that :) If you (in general) do not walk in my shoes then you do not understand. And that is okay...no one quite understands if they don't go thru it.... now I am reading that Bush is against open records...you should have read what I read...people need to be educated so they KNOW what they are talking about.. I am so happy for you and your daughter's relationship with bmom. HUGS, Coleen 8-) ps. my birth mom and birth aunt are on their way up here to oregon...birthmom is looking to move up here...she is on ssi and we are checking out foster care homes...there are some really nice one here.... At 11:49 AM 02/25/2000 -0500, you wrote: >As an adoptive mother I certainly can understand Colleen's feelings---one >of our (adult) daughters has connected (very positively) with her birth >family, with our approval and support--the other daughter has never wanted >to search. I agree with Jeanne (below) that this should be mutually >agreeable--some states , and Ohio is one, have a registry where both >parties can sign up if they wish to search/be found. This seems to me the >most rational way to handle what may in some cases be a terribly delicate >situation. We were so relieved for our daughter that her birth parents had >wanted to be found, but if not, what a terrible rejection it would have >been for her, as happened to the son of a friend of ours. In the "old >days" anonymity was guaranteed to birth mothers, but in these days when >more adoptions are "open" this may be less of an issue. Incidentally, our >connection with the birth family was NOT a threat to us, but deepened our >relationship with our daughter, as she knew we realized this was important >to her. > >Colleen wrote: >> >> ...I am having a hard time choosing McCain as I just read emails >> from another list that he could be against open records for adoptees. I >> can't vote for someone like this. Adoptees have the right to know their >> heritage. >> >> Coleen :) > > >Jeanne replied: >>Adoptees have a right (and a real need these days) to their family's medical >>history. Beyond that, I don't believe the rights of the biological parents >>who gave up these children should be violated. One of my parents was >>adopted as an infant and knowing what I know about genetics, I'd certainly >>like to know more (anything actually) about my parent's biological parents >>as pertains to their medical histories. However, I believe that only if >>both sides - biological parent(s) and child - indicate they wish to know the >>other personally should this type of information be made available. >> >>Personal feelings of: Jeanne Lee-Rosner, PDF, Chicago >> > > > > > Camilla Flintermann Oxford,OH > > http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/camilla/one.htm ><[log in to unmask]> > > also on PDWebring at : >http://members.tripod.lycos.nl/genugten/flinterm.htm > > *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** > > We agree to differ... > we resolve to love... > we unite to serve. > *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** > > MISSING LINKS, Adoptees/triad support group Grants Pass, So. OREGON 541-862-2226