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Lennea, And some of us think we have it rough!!!! If I may suggest maybe there is someone with a lot of understanding who could come stay with your Father even for half a day and someone else take Mom out of there at the same time. I know this is only a temporary thing but Mom needs a break from Dad and Dad sure could use a softer care giver,even if for a little while. I'm no expert on anything but it seems as though you are getting beat up emotionally also. My best wishes go out to you. Shirley ----------------------------------------------------- Click here for Free Video!! http://www.gohip.com/freevideo/ -----Original Message----- From: Linnea M Proverbs <[log in to unmask]> To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]> Date: Saturday, March 04, 2000 8:32 PM Subject: father >This is pretty personal stuff and I don't know if I should be sharing >this, but I figure you guys could help more than anyone else... > >My father has late-stage Parkinson's, at least I assume it is. He has >dementia now and does a lot of things "normal" people wouldn't do. He has >shook my mom, he has tried to pee on practically everything, along with >hallucinations and more normal things with Parkinson's, like his muscles >tensing on him where he can't walk and he has trouble forming what he >wants to say into sentences. the problem is, I don't think my mom >understands what the dementia is doing to him, and yells at him >constantly, or at least she doesn't want to understand. i have tried >explaining to her many times about how things are not really in his >control, but I can't get through. She just says it is just so frustrating >and puts on the poor me act, when it is my father who has Parkinson's! It >hurts to see them like this, and I left the other day because I couldn't >take the yeling any more. My mom told my dad tonight that it would be his >fault if I left, when she is the one yelling! I told him in front of her >it wasn't because of him...we have tried to get them to counseling, but my >mom insists she doesn't need to go. I have quit activities at school to go >to Parkinson's meetings with them, and she makes up excuses every week for >that,too. I just don't know what to do, what can help make this better. i >don't know what else to do and I can't stand being here-I don't sleep at >all here because she is up yelling at him for everything he does, yelling >at him when his legs freeze up and he can't move that "(he) isn't >trying" We just really need any advice/support you can give us right >now...