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Linnea, At our last PD Support Group meeting, we had a speaker from the Alzheimer's office here in Columbia, MO, who spoke on Care for the Caregiver. She distributed some pamphlets which were geared to Alzheimer's caregivers; however, she said we could just substitute PD for Alzheimer's, as the caregivers for both needed the same attention. She stressed the importance of the caregiver getting some time away from the patient. They have a Respite program here where you can get someone to come fill in for the caregiver while he/she gets some time away. Is there such an office in your area where you can inquire into some assistance for your mother? I noticed on the brochure that the main office is in Chicago and they have a toll-free number, 1-800-272-3900. If you don't have a local office, possibly you could call them and have them send you some of this information. I hope your parents are able to get some help soon. Mary Watkins 59/50 -----Original Message----- From: Linnea M Proverbs <[log in to unmask]> To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]> Date: Saturday, March 04, 2000 10:32 PM Subject: father >This is pretty personal stuff and I don't know if I should be sharing >this, but I figure you guys could help more than anyone else... > >My father has late-stage Parkinson's, at least I assume it is. He has >dementia now and does a lot of things "normal" people wouldn't do. He has >shook my mom, he has tried to pee on practically everything, along with >hallucinations and more normal things with Parkinson's, like his muscles >tensing on him where he can't walk and he has trouble forming what he >wants to say into sentences. the problem is, I don't think my mom >understands what the dementia is doing to him, and yells at him >constantly, or at least she doesn't want to understand. i have tried >explaining to her many times about how things are not really in his >control, but I can't get through. She just says it is just so frustrating >and puts on the poor me act, when it is my father who has Parkinson's! It >hurts to see them like this, and I left the other day because I couldn't >take the yeling any more. My mom told my dad tonight that it would be his >fault if I left, when she is the one yelling! I told him in front of her >it wasn't because of him...we have tried to get them to counseling, but my >mom insists she doesn't need to go. I have quit activities at school to go >to Parkinson's meetings with them, and she makes up excuses every week for >that,too. I just don't know what to do, what can help make this better. i >don't know what else to do and I can't stand being here-I don't sleep at >all here because she is up yelling at him for everything he does, yelling >at him when his legs freeze up and he can't move that "(he) isn't >trying" We just really need any advice/support you can give us right >now...