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to all: i spent from 2/4 - 3/6 with my mom and dad in tyler, texas after receiving a "distress signal" from my dad's (PWP) visiting nurse - she was concerned when my mother (CGiver) called her into her bedroom (which is where she spends 80% of the day - as well as night - behind closed doors) and cried and told her she just "didn't care" anymore and couldn't "do it" anymore, etc. She was referring to HER life as well as taking care of Daddy and her own 95 yr old mother (living in the attached apartment - converted garage) - i know from speaking with other "children of parkinsonians" that ALL relationships change when a family member is diagnosed with the illness - i just never knew how much it could change between those without the disease. . . in any case, mom has become increasingly depressed and for the past month, we went to all of her doctors, as well as seeking the help of a psychiatrist who switched her 150mg of Zoloft/daily to another medication called Calexsene 20mg - msp?) I stayed another two weeks for her follow up visit to see how she thought the meds worked, as well as to see if there were any outward changes - none at the time i left and none that she could tell - additionally, her overall health had deteriorated - her glaucoma isn't bad enough to require surgery, but does affect her ability to see (I couldn't understand why SHE wouldn't tell Daddy he had food all over his chin during meals - now I realize she apparently can't "see" it) Her diabetes had worsened to the point of requiring additional oral medication and, after I returned home, she called me with the news that the Dr. was not pleased with the readings and she has started daily injections of insulin - Her hands tremble almost constantly and additionally she has been falling frequently - four (4) times while i was there - once cutting her brow bone, once skinning her ankle and leg - but never "seeming" to take it seriously - Every time she would come home, the family would gather at her bedside to listen to "how it happened" trying desperately through Qs, to find out the reasons - balance? vision? dizziness? The fourth time it happened I got so angry with her - didn't she understand that although we ALL had compassion for HER and were genuinely concerned for HER, if she didn't seek help about it (she hadn't mentioned it to any of her doctors previously) - it was almost as though she were crying "wolf" or merely seeking attention of her own (which of course everyone, especially CGivers, need daily. Of course no one hurts themselves on purpose - unless they need help - but we're already addressing that. . . Since I came home, Mom has an appointment with Daddy's neurologist 3/31 - and I know she is terrified - what if she, too, has Parkinson's? Now, the good news is that while I was there, I was able to "fine tune" Daddy's med schedule some to keep his on time more consistent without dyskensia - he's doing great - I understand from others that my mother's situation is certainly not unique - CGiver's often neglect themselves, find comfort in unhealthy ways (food, drugs, liquor, isolation, etc.) and my mother chose food and isolation - unfortunately, it affects my father's quality of life and that's where i've felt resentment - SHE has a choice - HE doesn't - I won't apologize for the length of this - I needed to see my thoughts in print, as well as update you all - Remember, too, that my parents are the people out there that, although intelligent and "with-it", have narrowed their world (by choice? by accident?) and don't have YOUR support and YOUR knowledge - it is people like my parents that I am concerned about - those who DO NOT access all that is there for them - information, support, hugs, etc. And for most of them (including my parents) it is all at their fingertips - but the "will" is not. . . that's a niche that MUST be closed - Cari daughter of Dempsey-PWP (71/16+) & Jo Ann-CGiver