From the Press
*Shake, Shake, Janet Reno, Shake in Your Boots
I am here to defend Parkinson's Disease.
This malady has been maligned in certain circles using it as an excuse for
Janet Reno's inferior performance in the "Elian" case.
It is whispered that her highly visible shaking is the impetus for her faulty
decisions, for her "blinking" on the three or four occasions she set deadlines
and then backed off. Nothing is further from the truth.
Oh, it is true that we Parkinsonians may at times look slightly inebriated,
drag our feet and stumble as we amble and saunter down life's highway; and oh
heavens some may inadvertently drool occasionally, and sometimes "freeze" in
place unable to move an inch.
And, after a dozen years or so one may find it laborious to egress from an
auto, or get up from a chair, with handwriting totally illegible, and
weakened eye muscles bringing on double vision, and other muscles constantly
producing "charley horses" in the most unusual places, etc. etc.
BUT, during all these visible hardships and burdensome afflictions PD ,
strangely enough ,allows the brain to continue operating normally. In numerous
cases PD patients become more brilliant, ingenious and penetrating. Thus,
they can speedily scrutinize and assess carefully thorny situations and
generate the best solution for all involved.
Not to brag , I find my intellect and understanding is as sharp as ever,
making me able to dole out the right response to any question to the annoyance
of those dealing with my superior erudition. I may be still oblivious and
amnesic about the little things in life, but when it comes to major
discussions or controversies I am semi-infallible.
Ergo, the Janet Reno's shaking is due to the stress of making the wrong
political decisions intended to appease and mollify a small group of exiles,
who have created a 51st State in the state of Florida. And while Janet is
shaking in her boots, hoping to resolve this simple question of kidnapping, so
is the rest of America shaking a bit, including those not suffering from
Parkinson's/
Support finding the cure. The brain is a terrible thing to lose.
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