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For all you cat lovers, and the dog lovers get equal time! > Cat Haikus > > You never feed me. > Perhaps I'll sleep on your face. > That will show you. > > You must scratch me there! > Yes, above my tail! Behold, > Elevator butt. > > I need a new toy. > Tail of black dog keeps good time. > Pounce! good dog! good dog! > > The rule for today: > Touch my tail, I shred your hand. > New rule tomorrow. > > In deep sleep hear sound > Cat throwup hairball somewhere > Will find in morning > > Grace personified, > I leap into the window. > I meant to do that. > > Blur of motion, then -- > Silence, me, a paper bag. > What is so funny? > > The mighty hunter > Returns with gifts of plump birds -- > Your foot just squashed one > > You're always typing. > Well, let's see you ignore my > Sitting on your hands. > > My small cardboard box. > You cannot see me if I > Can hide my head. > > Terrible battle. > I fought for hours. Come and see! > What's a 'term paper'? > > Kitty likes plastic > Confuses for litter box > Shouldn't leave around > > Small brave carnivores > Kill pine cones and mosquitoes > Fear vacuum cleaner > > Want to trim my claws? > Don't even think about it! > My cries will wake dead. > > I want to be close > To you. Can I fit my head > inside your armpit? > > Want to go outside. > Oh, no! Help! I got outside! > Let me back inside! > > Oh no! Big One > has been trapped by newspaper! > Cat to the rescue! > > Cats meow out of angst > "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs! > We could break so much!" > > Litter box not here > You must have moved it again > I'll go in the sink. > > The Big Ones snore now > Every room is dark and cold > Time for "Cup Hockey" > > We're almost equals > I purr to show I love you > Want to smell my butt? > > *********************** > > Dog Haikus > > I love my master; > Thus I perfume myself with > This rotten squirrel. > > I lie belly-up > In the sunshine, happier > Than you'll ever be. > > Today I have sniffed > Twelve dog butts. I celebrate > By licking your face. > > I sound the alarm! > Paperboy! He'll kill us all! > Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! > > I sound the alarm! > Garbage man! He'll kill us all! > Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! > > How do I love thee? > The ways are as many as > My hairs on the rug. > > My human is home! > I am so ecstatic I have > Made him a puddle. > > I Hate my choke chain. > Look, world, they strangle me! Ack > Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack! > > Look in these eyes and > Deny it. No human could > Love you more than me. > > The cat is not all > Bad--she fills the litter box > With sweet Tootsie Rolls. > > Dig under fence--why? > Because it's there. Because it's > There. Because it's there. > > I am your best friend, > Now, forever, and always > When you are eating. > > You may call them fleas, > But they are far more--I call > Them a vocation. > >