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wonderful wish i could come judy >From: Barb_MSN <[log in to unmask]> >Reply-To: Parkinson's Information Exchange Network ><[log in to unmask]> >To: [log in to unmask] >Subject: Re: NONPD: Pet Haikus >Date: Thu, 27 Apr 2000 12:52:31 -0700 > >Darwin.... > >I've been laughing SOOO hard at the "Pet Haikus," that a neighbor >came over to make sure I was OK! > >She has four cats, so I printed her a copy of the Haikus and I >thought she'd CROAK from laughter. > >A coupla gals who live nearby my condo were walking their pups >nearby and were drawn to our laughter. Since I couldn't get a >word out without bursting into guffaws, I printer out hard copies >for THEM, too! > >Pretty soon there was a whole buncha folks standing in front of my >condo howling in laughter!!! > >Since my mama didn't raise a fool, I figured what a great way to >meet some of my new neighbors, so I ran to the fridge, grabbed a >Sara Lee cheese cake, them whipped up a pitcher of lemonade, and >hosted an impromptu party > >Watch out! They're all heading to YOUR home NOW! <giggling> > >Barb Mallut >[log in to unmask] >-----Original Message----- >From: Hawkins, Darwin <[log in to unmask]> >To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]> >Date: Thursday, April 27, 2000 11:54 AM >Subject: NONPD: Pet Haikus > > > >For all you cat lovers, and the dog lovers get equal time! > > > > > >> Cat Haikus > >> > >> You never feed me. > >> Perhaps I'll sleep on your face. > >> That will show you. > >> > >> You must scratch me there! > >> Yes, above my tail! Behold, > >> Elevator butt. > >> > >> I need a new toy. > >> Tail of black dog keeps good time. > >> Pounce! good dog! good dog! > >> > >> The rule for today: > >> Touch my tail, I shred your hand. > >> New rule tomorrow. > >> > >> In deep sleep hear sound > >> Cat throwup hairball somewhere > >> Will find in morning > >> > >> Grace personified, > >> I leap into the window. > >> I meant to do that. > >> > >> Blur of motion, then -- > >> Silence, me, a paper bag. > >> What is so funny? > >> > >> The mighty hunter > >> Returns with gifts of plump birds -- > >> Your foot just squashed one > >> > >> You're always typing. > >> Well, let's see you ignore my > >> Sitting on your hands. > >> > >> My small cardboard box. > >> You cannot see me if I > >> Can hide my head. > >> > >> Terrible battle. > >> I fought for hours. Come and see! > >> What's a 'term paper'? > >> > >> Kitty likes plastic > >> Confuses for litter box > >> Shouldn't leave around > >> > >> Small brave carnivores > >> Kill pine cones and mosquitoes > >> Fear vacuum cleaner > >> > >> Want to trim my claws? > >> Don't even think about it! > >> My cries will wake dead. > >> > >> I want to be close > >> To you. Can I fit my head > >> inside your armpit? > >> > >> Want to go outside. > >> Oh, no! Help! I got outside! > >> Let me back inside! > >> > >> Oh no! Big One > >> has been trapped by newspaper! > >> Cat to the rescue! > >> > >> Cats meow out of angst > >> "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs! > >> We could break so much!" > >> > >> Litter box not here > >> You must have moved it again > >> I'll go in the sink. > >> > >> The Big Ones snore now > >> Every room is dark and cold > >> Time for "Cup Hockey" > >> > >> We're almost equals > >> I purr to show I love you > >> Want to smell my butt? > >> > >> *********************** > >> > >> Dog Haikus > >> > >> I love my master; > >> Thus I perfume myself with > >> This rotten squirrel. > >> > >> I lie belly-up > >> In the sunshine, happier > >> Than you'll ever be. > >> > >> Today I have sniffed > >> Twelve dog butts. I celebrate > >> By licking your face. > >> > >> I sound the alarm! > >> Paperboy! He'll kill us all! > >> Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! > >> > >> I sound the alarm! > >> Garbage man! He'll kill us all! > >> Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! > >> > >> How do I love thee? > >> The ways are as many as > >> My hairs on the rug. > >> > >> My human is home! > >> I am so ecstatic I have > >> Made him a puddle. > >> > >> I Hate my choke chain. > >> Look, world, they strangle me! Ack > >> Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack! > >> > >> Look in these eyes and > >> Deny it. No human could > >> Love you more than me. > >> > >> The cat is not all > >> Bad--she fills the litter box > >> With sweet Tootsie Rolls. > >> > >> Dig under fence--why? > >> Because it's there. Because it's > >> There. Because it's there. > >> > >> I am your best friend, > >> Now, forever, and always > >> When you are eating. > >> > >> You may call them fleas, > >> But they are far more--I call > >> Them a vocation. > >> > >> ________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com