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At 11:06 PM 2000/04/27 GMT, "Judy George <[log in to unmask]>" wrote: >janet i suspect,but of course cant be too sure, you didnt *hear* >what i posted knowing the context for the humourous interchanges >is vital to their enjoyment for those of us who are new to the >site there is little history of interchange and the fun you all >have been having over time... hi all i agree that knowing the context of any interchange is vital to understanding where my opinion differs is where does the 'obligation' for 'explaining' that context lie? this is a situation that any newbie can find herself in whether she's new to a 7-year-old cyber family or whether she's new to a 25-year-old corporation or whether she's new to a six-month-old calculus class i was new to this group in october 1995 i made a point of reading past posts to get some idea of what had been going on so that i didn't jump in with both feet and say something 'stupid' or 'repetitive' or 'insensitive' i had a choice of: 1. not understanding something and 'suffering in silence' (poor me!) or 2. jumping to a conclusion that the 'background' was deliberately being kept from me (poor, poor me!) or 3. asking someone about it (i can ask someone to help me) or 4. looking it up in the archives (i can help myself) my favourite quote from rose lane, pared down: "i am not responsible for the way others treat me i am only responsible for the way i treat others" can be analyzed further in determining exactly whether or even if others are actually 'treating me in a certain way' they may not even be aware of me; their 'treatment' or behaviour toward me may be an illusion i have invented due to my mis-perceptions or pre-conceptions i am 100% certain that there is no conscious or deliberate 'marginalizing' or 'excluding' going on here; much the opposite, in fact, imho janet janet paterson 53 now / 41 dx / 37 onset a new voice: http://www.geocities.com/janet313/ 613 256 8340 PO Box 171 Almonte Ontario Canada K0A 1A0