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You do have an amazing ability to use Japanese style verse to make me laugh ...Thanks I needed it today too.. *seattle* Audrey friend of pwp aussie John 49/42/38? ----- Original Message ----- From: Hawkins, Darwin <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Thursday, April 27, 2000 11:52 AM Subject: NONPD: Pet Haikus > For all you cat lovers, and the dog lovers get equal time! > > > > Cat Haikus > > > > You never feed me. > > Perhaps I'll sleep on your face. > > That will show you. > > > > You must scratch me there! > > Yes, above my tail! Behold, > > Elevator butt. > > > > I need a new toy. > > Tail of black dog keeps good time. > > Pounce! good dog! good dog! > > > > The rule for today: > > Touch my tail, I shred your hand. > > New rule tomorrow. > > > > In deep sleep hear sound > > Cat throwup hairball somewhere > > Will find in morning > > > > Grace personified, > > I leap into the window. > > I meant to do that. > > > > Blur of motion, then -- > > Silence, me, a paper bag. > > What is so funny? > > > > The mighty hunter > > Returns with gifts of plump birds -- > > Your foot just squashed one > > > > You're always typing. > > Well, let's see you ignore my > > Sitting on your hands. > > > > My small cardboard box. > > You cannot see me if I > > Can hide my head. > > > > Terrible battle. > > I fought for hours. Come and see! > > What's a 'term paper'? > > > > Kitty likes plastic > > Confuses for litter box > > Shouldn't leave around > > > > Small brave carnivores > > Kill pine cones and mosquitoes > > Fear vacuum cleaner > > > > Want to trim my claws? > > Don't even think about it! > > My cries will wake dead. > > > > I want to be close > > To you. Can I fit my head > > inside your armpit? > > > > Want to go outside. > > Oh, no! Help! I got outside! > > Let me back inside! > > > > Oh no! Big One > > has been trapped by newspaper! > > Cat to the rescue! > > > > Cats meow out of angst > > "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs! > > We could break so much!" > > > > Litter box not here > > You must have moved it again > > I'll go in the sink. > > > > The Big Ones snore now > > Every room is dark and cold > > Time for "Cup Hockey" > > > > We're almost equals > > I purr to show I love you > > Want to smell my butt? > > > > *********************** > > > > Dog Haikus > > > > I love my master; > > Thus I perfume myself with > > This rotten squirrel. > > > > I lie belly-up > > In the sunshine, happier > > Than you'll ever be. > > > > Today I have sniffed > > Twelve dog butts. I celebrate > > By licking your face. > > > > I sound the alarm! > > Paperboy! He'll kill us all! > > Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! > > > > I sound the alarm! > > Garbage man! He'll kill us all! > > Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! > > > > How do I love thee? > > The ways are as many as > > My hairs on the rug. > > > > My human is home! > > I am so ecstatic I have > > Made him a puddle. > > > > I Hate my choke chain. > > Look, world, they strangle me! Ack > > Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack! > > > > Look in these eyes and > > Deny it. No human could > > Love you more than me. > > > > The cat is not all > > Bad--she fills the litter box > > With sweet Tootsie Rolls. > > > > Dig under fence--why? > > Because it's there. Because it's > > There. Because it's there. > > > > I am your best friend, > > Now, forever, and always > > When you are eating. > > > > You may call them fleas, > > But they are far more--I call > > Them a vocation. > > > > >