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Do you really think it is fair to say anything that is hurtful or keeps another from participating in any way on the list? It seems to me that not all of us are so insightful or care to be fighting anything but the disease for oureselves or to fight to help someone we love. Why not save the intelligent bickering for other battlefronts and try to keep some semblence of peace on this homefront? Audrey only a friend of a pwp aussie John 49/42/38 ----- Original Message ----- From: " janet paterson" <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Thursday, April 27, 2000 5:19 PM Subject: Re: perceptions of humour tolerance compassion acceptance forgiveness > At 11:06 PM 2000/04/27 GMT, "Judy George <[log in to unmask]>" wrote: > >janet i suspect,but of course cant be too sure, you didnt *hear* > >what i posted knowing the context for the humourous interchanges > >is vital to their enjoyment for those of us who are new to the > >site there is little history of interchange and the fun you all > >have been having over time... > > hi all > > i agree that knowing the context of any interchange > is vital to understanding > > where my opinion differs is > where does the 'obligation' for 'explaining' that context lie? > > this is a situation that any newbie can find herself in > whether she's new to a 7-year-old cyber family > or whether she's new to a 25-year-old corporation > or whether she's new to a six-month-old calculus class > > i was new to this group in october 1995 > > i made a point of reading past posts to get some idea of what had been > going on > so that i didn't jump in with both feet and say something > 'stupid' or 'repetitive' or 'insensitive' > > i had a choice of: > > 1. not understanding something > and 'suffering in silence' (poor me!) > or > > 2. jumping to a conclusion > that the 'background' was deliberately being kept from me (poor, poor me!) > or > > 3. asking someone about it (i can ask someone to help me) > or > > 4. looking it up in the archives (i can help myself) > > > my favourite quote from rose lane, pared down: > > "i am not responsible for the way others treat me > i am only responsible for the way i treat others" > > can be analyzed further in determining exactly whether or even if > others are actually 'treating me in a certain way' > > they may not even be aware of me; > their 'treatment' or behaviour toward me > may be an illusion i have invented due to my > mis-perceptions or pre-conceptions > > i am 100% certain that there is no conscious or deliberate > 'marginalizing' or 'excluding' going on here; > much the opposite, in fact, > imho > > > janet > > janet paterson > 53 now / 41 dx / 37 onset > a new voice: http://www.geocities.com/janet313/ > 613 256 8340 PO Box 171 Almonte Ontario Canada K0A 1A0 >