actually, due to the timing of this whole thing - my "lurking" response seems uglier than it probably is - i've been reading 4 days worth of postings, skipping as much as i can, then getting a tidbit of info and "wanting" to go back and find the initial message - it truly IS like looking at the car wreck on the side of the road - it's not necessary to see, nor pleasant, but you can't help it - i really do believe that everyone on the list wants to know that they can speak freely here, plus obtain information and be guided to additional sources - online or off - many of the messages read on this site can be "felt" - the curiosity and/or dread from the newly diagnosed, the weariness expressed in the wee hours of the night or mid-day by the CGiver, the absolute desperation in the voices of those whose parent or spouse is experiencing symptoms they've never had before - do they sound familiar to anyone here? should an ambulance be called? will it stop? does it stop? does it "ever" stop? sadly, the "ugliness" can also be felt - not "anger" - but words that have an edge to them and are so pointed - words of advice from someone who doesn't always take her own: maybe, in those inspired moments of replying back to one who has offended, we: write click "send later" relax and or read a few more postings and then go back and read our message - you know like we've all been taught to do when we used to write angry letters to someone that P.U.O. (angered us) - i totally believe this would help - i just wish i had remembered this earlier! Cari daughter of Dempsey-PWP (71/16+) & Jo Ann-CGiver