At 10:37 AM 2000/05/11 -0500,
darwin hawkins <[log in to unmask]>
and his friend chuck wrote, in part:
>> ...Here is my take on the 12 Step idea that
>> some people have. I believe that they reject the idea of anyone handling
>> their problems in a different manners than they did because it makes them
>> feel inferior. If they acknowledge that other people can achieve what they
>> did without meetings, programs and support groups they view the other person
>> as more capable and themselves less capable. Thus they take the position
>> that the other person didn't really have a problem because "there is no other
>> way to fix this problem other than the one I used."...
i think that is one possible 'take'...
these issues are difficult to grapple with, because they are written in shades of gray
there is little black and white simplicity
when it comes to us messy humans and our predicaments
another 'take' on the concept of some AA 12-steppers' rejection of alternate 'cures'
is their exposure to those individuals who don't make it in any way
the ones who 'slip through the cracks' into homelessness
or despair or suicide by drinking
or suicide by other means
in the medical literature
Alcoholics Anonymous is the only proven way to 'cure' alcoholism
it's quite possible that some AA 12-steppers are adamant about 'their way'
purely out of caring based on personal experience and observation
>> Its sad that these people don't realize that it is always the individual
>> who fixes their own problem. Turning problems over to God is a way to
>> allow themselves a little breathing room. By telling themselves that they
>> no longer have to worry about a problem it allows them to step back and
>> get some perspective on it. Most of our problems are not as bad as they
>> seem to the individual. By mentally dumping the worry, which debilitates
>> the person, they can then take steps to fix the problem because they
>> don't have to worry about failing....
'turning problems over to '{name one]' is one of the hardest things we can do
we all want to think we can control our own lives
that we should be able to control them
that 'letting go of control'
is a sign of weakness
and guilt
while in fact [imho, of course]
relinquishing the egotistic idea of control over something that we don't control anyway
is simply a matter of facing reality
and dismissing illusions
>> I have always thought that depression was brought on by peoples' negative
>> thinking and self absorption. There seems to always be a cause that
>> triggers this in the person. Perhaps there are some people who simply get
>> depressed for no reason but I think the majority of people do this based
>> upon a loss in their life. A loss of a loved one, loss of a job, natural
>> disaster that destroys a home, etc...
i believe that the literature all indicates three contributors to cd:
1. a significant trauma or loss or series of same
2. a genetic component [as much as 40%]
3. an individual 'threshold' level
some of us are allergic to mushrooms
some of us love mushrooms
some of us are indifferent
are we 'guilty' for causing our allergy?
are we 'weak' for exposing our mushroom addiction?
are we 'stalwart' in the face of mushroom temptation?
we are individual bio-chemical stews which cannot be counted on 100%
for identical repsonses to identical stimuli
in fact, [imho], quite the opposite!
[and vive la difference!]
>> ...They spend too much time dwelling on what they no longer have
>> instead of being grateful for what they did have for so long. This
>> limits the person's ability to see other possibilities... which
>. makes them dwell on their loss....which limits their ability to see....
>> until they spiral down to a position of total hopelessness....
i know this spiral well
it is the classic cd configuration
i don't agree with the idea that 'they spend too much time...'
>>Too many people think the answer is just more pharmaceuticals....
and i don't agree with this idea either
'"too" much' or '"too" many' by whose judgment?
these statements seem to reflect the 'blame the victim for her weakness' stigma again
echoes of the 'bootstraps' concept...
our brain chemistry is phenomenal
and causes behaviours mental physical and emotional
which we don't necessarily have conscious control over
which may appear to be difficult to comprehend
both to ourselves and to outsiders
viz
someone looking at me marching around the grocery store yesterday
might have said - pd ? who's got pd? she's gotta be kidding!
that's an outsider's judgment based on very little real knowledge of me and my life
i have been learning
how hard it is not to judge others
[who the heck can know all of the background?]
and i have also been learning how critical it is to try to learn same
in order to also learn how not to judge myself
we talk about "pd" being the ultimate custom fit designer disease;
i think maybe that idea could be extended to "life"
just my two canuck cents' worth
janet
ps
thanks for making me think
[i think!]
janet paterson
53 now / 41 dx / 37 onset
613 256 8340 / PO Box 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada
come visit my website "a new voice" at:
http://www.geocities.com/janet313/
