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Dear Listmembers, Marty Polonsky and I heard that another list member wasn't feeling so well -- our friend Stacy Colicchio. So we managed to go see him at his apartment in a low-rent retirement place south of LA. I did the mom-type things (well, it WAS Mother's day) -- meals, cleaning. Marty, despite his own constant pain and difficult balance problems, did the heroic things: helping Stacy dress, helping him realize the seriousness of his situation, calling family members to negotiate appropriate action. We left him sleeping peacefully. Marty followed up the next day, and sat long hours in a Kaiser facility as Stacy endured a battery of tests. The results: an inoperable brain tumor. Stacy is now in a hospice, drifting in and out of cognizance. Alan Bonander had gently strong-armed Stacy and me to start a support group in Santa Monica in 1992. Again, I bustled around with handouts and organizing, and Stacy brought his soul. Whenever the discussion seemed to be wandering off, it was always fruitful to bring it back to him. He'd open his heart and invariably a few tears appeared on his cheek. Years later I would tease him about how I always knew when to "cue Stacy, the weeper". Years later still, when he was so down on himself, I would remind him how deeply he had touched people there and how much those moments had meant to me. We face the unspoken specter of end-stage Parkinson's, something we rarely dare mention, even on this brave list. So through my profound sadness about Stacy, I envy his escape. And I'll remember the sparkle in his eyes on Mother's Day when he spoke of the lady who had just moved in across the hall: "Haven't you met Milly? I guess you haven't. Because if you'd ever met Milly, you'd never forget her." Mary Thanking you for "being there". [log in to unmask]