SO many of you have written, and to each of you, all i cna say is thanks. I am now beyond this near-crisis, and am talking comfortably again with the caregiver who was getting frayed at the edges. The difficultie are ending. He was definitely burning out. WE talked about HIS stress factors, and took the spotlight off of me. And now, with help in place, I am going away for this weekend to a lakeside cabin. Maeanwhile, the caregiver has made his own plans, and is looking forward to telling me about HIS weekend, FREE of responsibility to help me. Most of the other caregivers (there are NINE) have rallied to fill my schedule, so that the rather temperamental caregiver who was shouting can see that he does NOT have to be as responsible for my well-being, and can just RELAX. He now feels less isolated, and much more part of a team. Ivan On Wed, 31 May 2000 18:41:33 -0400 nancy <[log in to unmask]> writes: > Ivan, > Hi. > I am a patient. However, I have been a caregiver to my mom and dad > when > I was very young. The frustration at times was enormous on both my > parents and my siblings and me. What we did was take turns taking > care > of our parents. They were young so their illness was unexpected as > is me > with young onset p.d. > > Soooo....what I do is take it upon myself to have more than one > caregiver. One person can't take care of an ill person without > breaks. > I give the caregiver time off. That keeps all of us sane:) It is > very > hard for a caregiver to watch someone progress. Once month we go to > a > movie, and spontaneous declare a day 'no doctor day'. Another thing > we > do is declare caregiver day. I surprise the caregiver and tell them > it's > their day, they get the choice something they want to do. Many > times > they are so busy trying to assist and take care of me that they > loose > sight of themselves. > > Sincerely, > Nancy M. > Ivan M Suzman wrote: > > > > Dear friends, > > > > I need some guidance . An > > experienced caregiver is > > shouting at me. I must > > either find a substitute, > > or figure out how to > > sit down with him when > > he has calmed down, and > > talk.. > > > > What do you caregivers do, > > to prevent your stress factors and > > personal frustrations from > > coming out against a patient? > > > > Thank you, > > > > Ivan Suzman ^^^^^^ WARM GREETINGS FROM ^^^^^^^^^^^^ :-) Ivan Suzman 50/39/36 [log in to unmask] :-) Portland, Maine land of lighthouses deg. F :-) ********************************************************************