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Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 09:06:20 EDT
Subject: [sparkle] (fwd) 7 blonde jokes =)
To: "SPARKLE - Smiling PARKies Live Easier -" <[log in to unmask]>
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In a message dated 5/9/00 4:47:20 AM Eastern Daylight Time, Spunion1953
writes:

>
>                    ONE
>   A married couple were asleep when the phone  rang at 2 in the morning.
The
> wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the  phone, listened a  moment and
said,
> "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.  The husband
> said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to
> know "if the coast is
>   clear."
>
>                    TWO
>
>  Two blondes are walking down the street.  One notices a compact on the
> sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.  She opens it, looks in the mirror
and
> says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."  The second blonde says, "Here,
let
> me see!"  So the first blonde hands her the compact.  The second one looks
in
> the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
>
>                   THREE
>
>  A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys
> a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she  opens the door
> she finds him in the arms of a redhead.  Well, the blonde is really angry.
> She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
overcome
> with grief.  She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
>
>  The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."  The blonde replies,
>  "Shut up, you're next!"
>
>                   FOUR
>
>  A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.  She proudly
> says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."  A friend says "OK, what's
the
> capital of Wisconsin?"  The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy:  W."
>
>                    FIVE
>
>  What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
>  "Is it mine?"
>
>                   SIX
>
>  A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously,
she
> managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying
> fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.  "My God!" the trooper
gasped.
> "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant.  Are
> you OK ma'am?"  "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped."  Well,
how
> in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked
> car.   "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the
>   blonde began.  "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere
this
> TREE pops up in front of me.  So I swerved to the right, and there was
> another tree!  I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree!  I swerved
> to the right and there was another  tree!  I swerved to the left and there
> was ...."  "Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a
> tree on this road for 30 miles.  That was your air
>   freshener swinging back and forth."
>
>                  SEVEN
>
>  Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked
> and burglarized.  She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

> The police dispatcher broadcast the call on  the channels, and a K-9 unit
> patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached
the
> house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered
at
> the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.  Putting her
> face in her hands, she moaned,  "I come home to find all my possessions
> stolen.  I call the police for help, and what do they do?  They send me a
> BLIND policeman!"