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David, You are surely not alone and are not losing your mind. I was initially diagnosed witth carpal tunnel syndrome and even had surgery before finally settling on PD. As far as the suicide problem I'd say if it only lasted several months consider yourself lucky. Greg 47/35/35 ----- Original Message ----- From: "davidmeigs" <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Monday, June 12, 2000 2:07 AM Subject: Re: Finger tapping - Thank you for the info! > Thank you Paul, and others that got back to me! > > I guess I'll get braver as time goes by. I feel I should explain about my > relationship with my doctor though. I have worked for many years as a youth > and family advocate with a local nonprofit organization. My doctor has been > very active as a volunteer. Though we have never really been close, I have > considered him as a friend. > > The way a stranger thinks of me is not the same as one I care about. If a > stranger were to say to me "Your fat and ugly", my tongue would draw its own > pint of blood, and then I'd never think about it again. If my wife even > hinted such a thing I'd be depressed. LOL > > I don't want anyone to think my doc is a jerk (he is wonderful), or that I > am a wimp. Even though I do feel kind of vulnerable right now. > > In the last 4 years + I have been through many changes in my health. First > "carpel tunnel" syndrome, then "rapid drops in my blood pressure", which led > the doctors to take a close look at my heart. My heart was fine, so I > think they thought it must have all been in my head. (a whole other story) > > It was a little like the "boy that cried wolf". > > Finally there was the "suicidal" depression I went through that lasted > several months. (You are the first I have told of this, with the exception > of my wife.) These things also contributed to my timidness. > > I now know that these other things may have been related to what I am going > through now. Now I sit in wait mode, carefully listening for the sound of > the other shoe to drop. The other shoe being the outcome of my soon to be > visit to the movement disorder specialist. > > Thanks again, > > David M. > > I know that I am not alone (at least now I do) >