twenty_dollar_bills/school_projects/worth/value/acceptance/privacy/generosity/pride/humility/ego/shame/perceptions/distortions fairly clear each word in its own solitary house but a tad confused when jumbled all together in an emotionally tight space i need to ask 'the powers that be' for help i have needed to for months but somehow i delay it i am not sure why i need help with cleaning and laundry and bathroom bars and air conditioning and groceries and maybe even meals i tell myself i should be able to do it all myself after all, when i am 'on', i can physically do almost anything almost as if i do not have pd maybe that's part of my reluctance anyone seeing me walking round town would think 'there's nothing wrong with her' the asking itself is my mountain which i am trying to look at with my molehill lenses maybe writing all this to some who might understand is a start thanks for the nudge, howard jp janet paterson 53 now / 41 dx / 37 onset 613 256 8340 / PO Box 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada visit my website "a new voice" at: "http://www.geocities.com/janet313/"