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twenty_dollar_bills/school_projects/worth/value/acceptance/privacy/generosity/pride/humility/ego/shame/perceptions/distortions

fairly clear each word in its own solitary house
but a tad confused when jumbled all together
in an emotionally tight space

i need to ask 'the powers that be' for help
i have needed to for months
but somehow i delay it
i am not sure why

i need help with cleaning and laundry and bathroom bars
and air conditioning and groceries and maybe even meals

i tell myself i should be able to do it all myself
after all, when i am 'on', i can physically do almost anything
almost as if i do not have pd

maybe that's part of my reluctance
anyone seeing me walking round town would think
'there's nothing wrong with her'

the asking itself is my mountain
which i am trying to look at
with my molehill lenses

maybe writing all this to some  who might understand
is a start

thanks for the nudge, howard

jp

janet paterson
53 now / 41 dx / 37 onset
613 256 8340 / PO Box 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada
visit my website "a new voice" at: "http://www.geocities.com/janet313/"