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Dear Deborah, Love is not an event, it is a process. From one cg to another, way up in Canada, Joan U. Because you wrote: >Hello all, don't know if sharing this will help, but I am having such >trouble with the day-to-day decisions. My father would NEVER agree with >some of my choices if he were "with-it", but I weigh things and some things >have to be done. Today I had a very difficult day, details of living, like >running errands and getting the e-check and registering the car, and this on >my day "off". One thing after another made each part of my errands increase >in difficulty and by the time the daycare bus pulled in I was already >frazzled!!! I have been unable to be very giving with my Dad lately, I >isolate more by reading and being on the computer, I just don't have it to >give right now!!! I keep thinking more money would be the answer but I >don't think that's it...it's about boundaries and taking care of myself and >?????????????????????????? One car flunked the echeck and that's our "good" >car, came home to switch to the other one, ...well, you know, just one >obstacle after another. I am overwhelmed again and afraid at some level Dad >is getting a message that he is a burden, and sometimes it feels that way, >but it makes me really sad to think I would ever communicate that verbally >or nonverbally....that feels AWFUL....... Day before yesterday I was really >grouchy and I asked dad where he was going when he tried to stand up, etc. >and he said just trying to not catch hell for being >alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FELT HORRIBLE..I explained that my grouchiness >was not about his care or him, it was the fact that I have this enormous >house and 2 and 1/2 acre of land to mow and all the laundry, and his care >and on and on and on.....and (here I really sound like I am whining) I miss >my friends, my apartment, my language, my culture, my home!!!!!!!!!!!! Alot. > thanks for listening....... Deborah Caregiver to Eugene80/11+ >----------